[JoSchmooze]

Originally Posted by *Anya*

Pulling my own covers here even though I know my honey will read this but I have to come clean for myself and perhaps to let anyone else that is struggling to know that they are not alone. Not everyone is able to just make up their mind that they are going to lose weight and never have a slip.

I had the pleasure of spending a week with my butch. I say a week as I am like many on the Planet, in a LDR. I am, however, having a very hard time with it. I had a very dark 2-weeks after said butch flew back those 350 miles and a one- hour plane ride back to No. Cali.

I lost 3-pounds the week the butch was here.

The day after butch left, for the first time in 6- 12 months (maybe even longer) I bought an entire box of cookies at Trader Jo's and ate them at one sitting. I then bough a box of "Hold the Cones" little ice cream cones, @ least I ate them over several days

Maybe this should be in the Eating Disorders thread because it was so clearly emotional eating to fill a sadness that I felt and of course it filled nothing but self-loathing and even greater sadness at my loss of self-control.

Now, I am struggling with the cravings that will take another week or longer to go away.

I also have broken my own daily weighing rule and have not weighed in the last two weeks because I am so fearful of looking at what I might have gained.

All of this is very, very difficult to admit to not only myself but to those that read this thread. I am a control freak and perfectionist and my my loss of control goes against my core personality but it is my truth today.

Like Jo said...you're tacking in the wind....
It is your "truth" and part of gettring over that hump
is the fact that you admitted it and are willing to make another go
of it! Hang in there.....

Originally Posted by PinkieLee

((((((((*Anya*))))))))))))))

My friend, you are NOT alone.

Since D's mom's death (almost 2 weeks), I have been on a downward spirial myself. Every single day I wake up and I say, "today I won't binge". And every day I go to bed a failure, because I haven't been able to just say no. Again, I feel as though I am in an addiction mode right now.

Emotional eating and/or trying to fill a void with food, has been a lifelong problem for me.

I keep telling myself that when things get better, I will get better. But right now, it's more like a bunch of fake ass affirmations that are spitting out of my mouth.

Just like most of the 12 step programs that are out there...
I will say 2 things....
Yes, it will get better and the other one I really
like is "fake it until you make it"....
One day you'll look around, try on that tight pair of jeans from a year ago....and lo and behold.....they fit!!
(Just like the "other" Jo....lol)
I put on a pair of shorts I couldn't wear last summer and there was no problem......*big ole grin*