[Gemme]

For those having difficult days/weeks/times, I hear you. I hear you and I feel you.

For myself, I have issues that won't go away, and they are usually work related. Those I do stress about and sometimes give into urges about, but overall, I have a slight numbness to them. It's the 'same ole, same ole'.

But currently, I'm also in the process of moving and of a really good friend moving far, far away. Though I know he'll be taken care of by loving members of our community, I still feel as if a piece of me and a part of my life is going to board that plane with him in twelve days and I won't be able to get it back. So, I'm watching him pack and I have to pack and we're separating strands of our lives that we've spent a lot of time weaving together and it's just sad. I'm happy that we're exploring new lives and are going to have, hopefully, positive and joyful experiences. But it's the sadness that really eats at me.

When I'm angry or bored, I will take a few bites of whatever and I can usually catch myself and stop or else switch to a healthier substitute. However, the sadness, for me, is like the ocean. Calm on the surface, but if you get too deep into it, it will pull you under. And that's where I am. Away from the shore and at the point where I have to fight hard against it or let it take me under. Some days are better than others and some days I fight harder than others.

That's the way of the world. We all have so many obstacles (death, illness, LDRs, live in relationships, family, work, social obligations, society's influences upon us and our family, etc), it's a wonder any of us find a way to break through the hard times at all. So, I'm super proud of those who do have things in check. I'm proud of those who have those victories, whether small or big, to celebrate. I'm proud of those who aren't quite there yet, but are still chugging along. I'm even proud of those who are nowhere near where they'd like to be but they are aware of their struggle and still try when they can.

I am in the last category right now, but maybe next week, things will be better. I think my victory now is in maintaining the belief that things will get better.