[LaneyDoll]

Originally Posted by Julie

When I got involved with Dreamer, this was a completely different dynamic. Dreamer was a dominant and a sadist. What did all that mean? I read every single thing I could get my hands on. Everything. I talked to people, including Dreamer. I needed to be sure I could handle this relationship, before I entered it. It also meant Dreamer had to accept the parts of me that might not be comfortable going to certain places/spaces. It's just about communicating what is okay and what is not.

I did the same thing with Riley. He is a GF sub who identifies as a pup. There is a HUGE difference between a pup and submissive (or slave etc etc).

When he approached me about being his handler (pup word for mentor) I researched as much as possible. I asked questions of a friend who owns a pup.

Like Julie, I needed to be sure I could handle the relationship. Leading someone is a HUGE responsibility.

Our communication has to be intact for things to work. In time, he approached me about being his Owner (pup for Dominant). And I agreed.

But I went into each stage of our relationship with a basis of knowledge that I would not have had without doing a little bit of homework.