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Originally Posted by MissItalianDiva
Secondly I really don't see why this is something you are concerning yourself with. It is their life and their relationship. What they choose to do or not do is theirs alone. If love is enough if even in the moment well then so be it. Life is a learning experience and sometimes just living in the moment is the best thing to do and when it isn't then it blows up in our face and we learn a life lesson...hopefully. Let them find what works or isn't working for them. I think sometimes we want to play protector or educator to folks who are going through something we have encountered previously because it may have ended bad for us or someone we know but sometimes it just needs to take it's own natural direction.
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As I have stated multiple times before, she has come to me for a shoulder, help, and advice in all of this, and I feel as if I have reached a point where I am not well versed enough in everything to help her with such. As for the posting on a public forum, I appreciate your opinion, but it was a choice I made, along with my Daddy, and I stand behind that fully. My intentions were not cruel, or even drama based, therefor it was positive, even if not everyone agrees.
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Originally Posted by Quintease
I think it's been really interesting.
There isn't a lot of help out there for a girl dating a transman regardless of her ID. My husband and I have come up against a lot of weird reactions, from lesbians who think I should leave the lesbian community to straight people who think I have no 'right' to call myself gay. At least I have the benefit of 17 years of queer culture. Aside from a willingness to fall in love, what does this girl have? The least she should expect is that her friends are able to offer her advice from an educated place.
There should be more discussions like this.
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I completely agree, and as I have stated, it is why I am here, whether everyone agrees on the honorable notion of such, or not. I am finding myself unable to give her what she needs as a friend, and that is more knowledge and understanding, and I am reaching out to people who would not be able to judge her, versus the cis-gendered straight family and friends she is turning to, who are judging the both of them, and adding even more hellstone to the flames. Even if she never bothers to read the post, which she has been given the information to direct herself to it, there is someone out there who may learn something from the discussion.
Having been in this position myself, I found the forums very very helpful in learning and understanding things, I did not know before hand.