Quote:
Originally Posted by J. Mason
Anyone else out there that date women with children, teens or adult kids? Do their children accept you or have there been any problems? I ask due to finding myself possibly wanting to be with a woman who has kids, I am just asking for stories or experiences from others as opinions.
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Why yes, I am dating a woman with amazing children. When I spent my first weekend with my kitten, I was a bit worried about her boys' acceptance and understanding of me. Prior to meeting me, kitten's dating history had been with cis-men. In addition to that, she hadn't brought home a man in years because her children are her most prized, cherished and protected loves in her life. So it was a very big moment for us both. We had spoken on the phone so there was some connection and interaction between us.
She arranged for the boys to spend the first night with family so that she and I may have some privacy. However, the next day we were up early and headed out to pick them up. I remember us pulling up and seeing them playing in the yard just rough housing like boys do. We stepped out of the car and as I shut my door they turned to see us. And they both came running towards me and greeted me by calling my name out and giving me huge hugs... as in running towards me and both boys jumping on me... chuckles.
It was an absolutely amazing feeling, I could not help but glance over at my kitten and smile. Which only warmed my heart further by seeing the bright smile on her face.
The boys have accepted me fully, which is amazing given the fact that they were eleven and nine years old when I came into their lives. They address me as he and "the man of the house" when I am there. The connection we have is rather wonderful and truly a gift. I have always been family oriented, I have a very good relationship with my family. Of course, this has resulted in my desire to have a family of my own, and my kitten's open invitation into her life along with the boys' open hearts has truly made me feel as though I was welcomed home. The boys are now thirteen and twelve and the connection has not wavered. As a matter of fact, the relationship with the oldest has grown stronger. I have a different relationship with each one due to their very different personalities yet I love them unconditionally. Last time I was there, kitten was preparing dinner and noticed none of us where to be found. Only to find the three of us in their bedroom playing video games... chuckles.
It is amazing to come into a family and be welcomed. However there are certain struggles and obstacles that you must consider when doing so. As Lady Snow mentioned on the first page - first and foremost you need to be certain that you like children and want them in your life. Otherwise, don't bother. Ultimately you are not only going to hurt the lady but the children as well. The second thing I feel is incredibly important is sharing the same philosophies in life and the same ideas when it comes to raising children. Otherwise, there will be times when you may ultimately feel like an outsider when you believe the children should be disciplined (or not) and their mother feels differently. Ultimately, they are
her children, and that is a line I would never overstep.
And another big thing to always keep in mind is the fact that you will not come before the children, nor should you even try to. In my opinion anyway. Were I to meet a woman who put me before her children I would lose interest immediately.
Such has been my experience and my thoughts on the matter.