[Heavenleahangel]

I'd like to add my 2 cents if I may here. I totally agree with you, DD, about your post and what Lady Snow posted about her experience. Children are a blessing and can add a wealth of happiness and love to any family and I would like to show my side of the coin as being a parent.
Five years ago I was given the opportunity to adopt a newborn son, which I jumped at the chance without hesitation. As the months of the pregnancy progressed, I thought long and hard about the repercussions of having a newborn, how my life would change and what it would mean to parent all over again. (At the time, my bio daughters were 19 and almost 18!) Some of my friends warned me that I would remain single, but I never doubted my decision, thus Jacob was *mine.*
As he grew-and I talk about this like he is grown already when he isn't even 5 until June-and I started realizing I am raising him alone, I got scared, hell I was terrified, but nothing in this world could have been a better reassurance than hearing "mama" or "I wub boo" from my little man.
I never thought I would be raising him alone. I always thought I would meet someone and WE would be raising Jacob as a FAMILY, but so far, that hasn't happened. I truly believed I would marry and my partner would co-adopt. To some of the few I have contemplated a relationship with, the newness of a son and a family soon faded and the day to day life of having a child underfoot, finding a sitter to go anywhere that doesn't require an entourage of diaper bags, toys and kid-friendly food, and not being able to be spontaneous was a major down fall. And I also encountered the ones who were jealous of him and his dependance on me. I have been told by 2 people that they *love* me and want a life with *me* but they couldn't incorporate Jacob into the equation! (I'm a lady and won't tell you what I told them!)
All this being said, I am grateful everyday I have been given the gift of this precious little boy! He is a beautiful blue-eyed-blond~like ME~ and folks can't believe I didn't birth him. He is such a funny little charmer and brings immense happiness and laughter when he cracks that perfect little smile and the dimple on his chin bows out. I may not be able to teach him the things only a "Daddi" can teach him, but he is loved and so am I. If it so happens that I meet someone who can and will love the both of us and honor us by becoming a family with us, then we will be even more blessed. If not, then we will be loved by our chosen family and I'll build the best life for him that I possibly can.
Yes, it is hard sometimes. I won't lie and say it isn't a struggle and I have wondered if someone else could have provided him a better life. But at the end of the day, when I can tucking him into bed and he takes 10 minutes to tell me he loves me and give me my nite-nite kisses, I know there is NO WAY anyone else could love this boy better and *I* am the one blessed even on the days I don't feel worthy of such love!