[Soft*Silver]

My first reaction, when I heard the term "crip sex" on the Fat Sex thread, was knee jerk, self preservation, advocate based "dont call me that" reaction. Cripple is not a word I fancy. But then I am 55, a recluse and dont fry my batter with current culturally acceptable fodder. So, perhaps this is an acceptable term nowadays. So I will get past THAT first reaction...

then I have to go thru the objectification process. While I love sex with fat people and as a fat person, I adore my own body as a sexual one but I will be damned if someone will call me a chubby chaser. It objectifies the person I am with, as well as myself. People are more than their category.I dont fuck and fall in love with fat people. I am attracted to them as much as I am other sizes. Sometimes more, but not in a "I like big boobs" or "I am an ass lover", hunting down boobs or asses instead of people as potential partners. So to say "crip sex" makes it sound like I am chasing crips...lusting because they are cripple. And since *I* am technically a "cripple", and thinking someone might chase me JUST for that reason, made my stumach turn....

I had the experience of getting involved with someone who kept their little "crip fantasy" a secret until I moved in with them and they wanted to "spice up" our lovelife, which was spicy to begin with. I always like new things but this...well...blink blink....she wanted me to whine and moan and complain about how bad my body hurt and how vulnerable I was and how much I needed someone to take care of me...

as fierce as I am about needing to be independent, this stank monstrously to me. Did I partake? Oh yeah. Stupid me. Lets try it, she said, see what it does for me, she said.

It felt ugly and made me feel less than, not fully "parted"...which is EXACTLY what she wanted...

that was a simmering slow boil of an abusive relationship. After she hit me finally, literally hit me, I left. She had me isolated, up in the mtns (NO ONE on this site!), completely financially under her control, berating me for being less of a person because I was disabled. But in bed, it made her wet.

I was despised and desired for the exact same part of me.

which is often the case with Chubby Chasers/or another branch called Feeders. It is in the disgust that appeal comes, not in the preciousness of the person. The person is lost over the objectification of the need to creen their neck to see the ugliness of the matter. And lick it. Own it. Use it. Control it. Fuck it.

So, forgive me if my reaction is one of disgust. Some of us have encountered the not so clean and love-ified version of fucking a cripple.

This experience, along with other experiences in my life where I was deemed less than but fucked anyway, make me not allow anyone to touch, let alone fuck me anymore. Stone to the Bone, this femme now is. Self preservation.

and now when I give to another, I make sure he is well aware of how desired he is for who he is, not what he is. When he feels my lust, its not degregating. He has a crip Mistress who would shut him off permanently if he ever viewed me as a cripple...

just expressing MY experience and opinion. Not trying to be contrary..just giving my reaction..