Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post - Abuse in butch-femme relationships

Dude · 03-30-2012, 12:29 PM

http://www.cchers.org/cap/about.html

please read link above
I chose this page because it shows what healthy relationships are like in comparison.

any form of abuse is a cycle
Control ,manipulation, threats, isolation can be just as painful as finding
yourself in a punching bag situation.

At 26, I met my dream woman. Beautiful ,perfect body,hot in the sack and dripping with charisma. There was not much I would not do for her.
I played chicken with a car ( she was threatening suicide), took a super heavy ,glass ashtray to the head, nearly got clocked and burnt with a frying pan full of hot grease, dodged a hot iron flying through the air, etc,etc.

The honeymoon (I'm so sorry, I will do whatever you want,I'll do treatment and therapy followed by romance for days and mindblowing sex) all kept me hooked, for nearly nine months.
She could charm the pants off of any butch ( for a minute) and last I heard all these years later is that she is still doing the exact same thing.

My self esteem was in the fucking gutter because I could not fix her.
I was too young to get that ,it was not my job.
Nothing I did was good enough and I never knew what I was coming home to.
My life was isolated because it was humuliating and no one would understand.
My escape route was my dog who spent more and more time cowering in the basement versus getting love from me/us/her (The crazy couple.)
I loved my dog and hated to see what it was doing to her.Later, I focused
on what it did to me.

When you question your own sanity, feel smothered, are manipulated by
suicide threats, embaressed by public scenes and never know what your
coming home to, you are in an emotionally, abusive relationship.
When your opinion or well being does not matter and is never up for consideration or a priority to that person, why are you still there?
When someone tries to burden the bulk of the realtionship on you to fix
and you are not allowed time for any self care, friends or pleasure time (of your choosing) accept it for what it is and get the hell out. That aint love.

03-30-2012, 12:29 PM	#8
Dude Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: Perusing Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: exit 5 with an exit 21 goal Posts: 1,725 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 15,351 Thanked 10,605 Times in 1,477 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	http://www.cchers.org/cap/about.html please read link above I chose this page because it shows what healthy relationships are like in comparison. any form of abuse is a cycle Control ,manipulation, threats, isolation can be just as painful as finding yourself in a punching bag situation. At 26, I met my dream woman. Beautiful ,perfect body,hot in the sack and dripping with charisma. There was not much I would not do for her. I played chicken with a car ( she was threatening suicide), took a super heavy ,glass ashtray to the head, nearly got clocked and burnt with a frying pan full of hot grease, dodged a hot iron flying through the air, etc,etc. The honeymoon (I'm so sorry, I will do whatever you want,I'll do treatment and therapy followed by romance for days and mindblowing sex) all kept me hooked, for nearly nine months. She could charm the pants off of any butch ( for a minute) and last I heard all these years later is that she is still doing the exact same thing. My self esteem was in the fucking gutter because I could not fix her. I was too young to get that ,it was not my job. Nothing I did was good enough and I never knew what I was coming home to. My life was isolated because it was humuliating and no one would understand. My escape route was my dog who spent more and more time cowering in the basement versus getting love from me/us/her (The crazy couple.) I loved my dog and hated to see what it was doing to her.Later, I focused on what it did to me. When you question your own sanity, feel smothered, are manipulated by suicide threats, embaressed by public scenes and never know what your coming home to, you are in an emotionally, abusive relationship. When your opinion or well being does not matter and is never up for consideration or a priority to that person, why are you still there? When someone tries to burden the bulk of the realtionship on you to fix and you are not allowed time for any self care, friends or pleasure time (of your choosing) accept it for what it is and get the hell out. That aint love.