[julieisafemme]

I know this is against the TOS but I feel in is necessary in the context of this discussion.

Dancer you have started a lot of threads. One is about where are the butches. One is about how to attract a butch when you feel insecure doing so. This one is about a butch who hurt you. It seems like you are all over the map here. I am posting because I was young and insecure once and made a choice to stay with a man who was not a good fit for me. I was insecure and confused and felt like he knew better than anyone. The truth was that I did not know myself. The last thing I should have been doing is being in a relationship with anyone.

I agree with everyone else that the best thing for you to do is to take some time to be with yourself. You are young and there is somuch out there for you to learn and explore that does not involve partnering with someone. I wish someone had said this to me or if they did, that I would have listened. Therapy can be transformative experience. You can work out these things in a safe space with boundaries. I am so lucky I found my therapist and that she was a gifted professional who gave me the space to work out a lot of things in a totally bounded, safe space. I wish you the best of luck and hope you will listen to the many wise people here who are speaking from experience.