[sylvie]

Originally Posted by IslandScout

People talk about looking fantastic when they're at their ideal weight and I'm sure they do but I want to say, looking fantastic isn't all about the weight, at least not for me.

I was model thin for most of my adult life, and even now, when I'm struggling to lose 15 pounds, many would say I look fine, weight-wise—but that isn't all it takes to look "fantastic."

Confidence is what makes a person look great, and rachets up their sexual allure, IMO. You literally throw off pheromones when you're happy, and feel good about yourself, at any size.

When I feel unloved, I internalize it, and make it true, in a sense—by making myself unsexy with self-loathing, which is a real turnoff to a most people.

It's not an unusual cycle, especially for women in this culture, and one sad bi-product of the phenomenon is how a beautiful woman with low self-esteem is a favorite target of a certain kind of sexual predator or creep.

I try to stay conscious of my internal/external balance. It's tangled up with body image, so I'm mentioning it here.

Exercise ups the self-love, because of the body's chemical response, and because it makes me feel strong physically, a metaphor for psychic strength—or maybe they're linked.

i agree, 100%... i can honestly say i am not at my ideal weight.. looking fantastic isn't about my weight loss, for sure.. but my increase in confidence helps me say so now.. Being able to say the words for the first time in my life, and being able to look in a mirror and say i'm beautiful.. Isn't about how my body looks physically today but about the changes within, the building self-esteem and the good health, improving skin, my constant smile, it's many, many things.... it just feels great to be able to acknowledge for once i look fantastic.. i'm at 217 lbs, i still have more weight to lose (for me).. But, this is the first time in my life that i can say it and mean it.. BIG milestone for me..

i think beauty comes in all sizes, shapes and forms..i think back to me at 315 lbs and i can say, honestly, i 'was' beautiful.. What is sad to me is that i never *felt* beautiful & spent so much time putting myself down and being so negative towards my own body. So clearly, it was my own stinkin' thinkin' and low self-esteem.. i know i still have a lot of weight to lose to feel healthy overall.. It was simply a yay moment for me, and i wanted to share that & lend my gratitude to you all in the thread.. Hope it didn't seem like i was being anything but humble..

Hugs to you all & hope it was a happy Sunday!