Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post - Why lipstick lesbians have to keep coming out of the closet

Ginger · 04-08-2012, 09:41 PM

I've said already somewhere on the site, being femme was always a contextual ID for me—it was my way of "coming out" in my attraction to butch women.

Eventually, though, I ended up with a woman who looks and acts butch in many ways, but doesn't ascribe to that ID, and it felt like one hand clapping—me holding on to the femme thing, when she is pretty dismissive of butch-femme culture.

So, one day I woke up and it was gone. I felt like my femme ID had become obsolete.

I look very straight—make-up, big earrings, long, layered hair, and I wear dresses and skirts every day, with boots. Most people assume I'm straight.

But one day recently I realized I make the butch conductor on the LIRR very nervous. I'm certain she recognizes me as femme, and sort of activates it in me, though I hadn't been in touch with the ID for a long time.

I guess that sounds very dependent on others, that whole "activate" thing—like I'm some kind of doll waiting to be taken down from the shelf. Yuk! That isn't what I mean.

I have to think about this. The words aren't really right.

04-08-2012, 09:41 PM	#6
Ginger Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme lesbian Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: East coast Posts: 2,416 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,829 Thanked 12,295 Times in 2,057 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I've said already somewhere on the site, being femme was always a contextual ID for me—it was my way of "coming out" in my attraction to butch women. Eventually, though, I ended up with a woman who looks and acts butch in many ways, but doesn't ascribe to that ID, and it felt like one hand clapping—me holding on to the femme thing, when she is pretty dismissive of butch-femme culture. So, one day I woke up and it was gone. I felt like my femme ID had become obsolete. I look very straight—make-up, big earrings, long, layered hair, and I wear dresses and skirts every day, with boots. Most people assume I'm straight. But one day recently I realized I make the butch conductor on the LIRR very nervous. I'm certain she recognizes me as femme, and sort of activates it in me, though I hadn't been in touch with the ID for a long time. I guess that sounds very dependent on others, that whole "activate" thing—like I'm some kind of doll waiting to be taken down from the shelf. Yuk! That isn't what I mean. I have to think about this. The words aren't really right.