[deedarino]

I crave being out and proud...yet unless partnered, I am invisible. I am automatically considered straight and I assure you I am not. In fact, often I have to assure potential partners and wayward males that I am not.

There was a time that I changed my look to fit in, to be able to be a LESBIAN...but I did not fit in. Turns out you can change your clothes but it doesn't change you. I looked ridiculous and more importantly, felt like I was in logger drag. I wanted to just be who I was but thought something was wrong with me. Maybe I was a faker, maybe I was confused. I was constantly asked by my friends (who didn't understand it any more than I did), "If you like girls that look like guys why don't you just date guys???" I had no idea but that thought wasn't appealing at all.

My life changed when I found a community of Butch/Femmes. Forever the loves of my life. I was like a kid at christmas...and probably acted like one too...lol. I put back on MY clothes and my lipstick, and my confidence...I still have no answers as to why but I now know exactly who I am. I may not always be "out" but I am always proud.

And I am grateful for you all...