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*Anya* · 04-14-2012, 11:37 AM

This is a tough one for me.

My ex-husband and I will never be friends but I never trashed him to my daughters and supported & encouraged their relationship-until he dragged his second wife around by the hair in front of them @ ages 8 and 10. Then I told him, get therapy or you will not see the girls. He chose no therapy. They did make peace with him when they turned 18 as I took them to therapy to deal with the trauma that they witnessed for 6-months. I was pleasant to him and wife #3 @ each of my girls weddings and my oldest's college graduation.

My first GF & I remained friends-no negative feelings.

My 19-year relationship taught me she was not worthy of my heart or my trust and repeatedly broke both. I was a very slow learner with that one. Can't tell you why but I finally "got it" that she is not good for my own mental health. I am not bitter or angry-just much wiser.

Forgiveness? Was almost there until her October 2011 story of terminal brain cancer, one-week to live, that turned out to be a lie. Yes, I am a really slow learner. (No, she is not on the Planet, thank god).

I believe I have finally learned who is worthy of my trust and my love. I am grateful that I have.

04-14-2012, 11:37 AM	#51
Anya Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: West Coast Posts: 8,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,306 Thanked 40,455 Times in 7,284 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	This is a tough one for me. My ex-husband and I will never be friends but I never trashed him to my daughters and supported & encouraged their relationship-until he dragged his second wife around by the hair in front of them @ ages 8 and 10. Then I told him, get therapy or you will not see the girls. He chose no therapy. They did make peace with him when they turned 18 as I took them to therapy to deal with the trauma that they witnessed for 6-months. I was pleasant to him and wife #3 @ each of my girls weddings and my oldest's college graduation. My first GF & I remained friends-no negative feelings. My 19-year relationship taught me she was not worthy of my heart or my trust and repeatedly broke both. I was a very slow learner with that one. Can't tell you why but I finally "got it" that she is not good for my own mental health. I am not bitter or angry-just much wiser. Forgiveness? Was almost there until her October 2011 story of terminal brain cancer, one-week to live, that turned out to be a lie. Yes, I am a really slow learner. (No, she is not on the Planet, thank god). I believe I have finally learned who is worthy of my trust and my love. I am grateful that I have. __________________ ~Anya~ Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner