I also have an aversion to receiving help from others. I think it's because I'm scared to need anyone, to show them my vulnerability. I am much more comfortable being the guy who has it all together and is able to nurture and care for the people he is close to. I pretty much disappeared off the internet for over a year, because I was so mentally disabled that I felt that I had absolutely nothing to say that would be of value.
I am still on disability for my panic disorder. I am just now finally starting to come out of my shell. It takes a lot of courage for me to tell people I have basically had a mental breakdown for the last year and a half and was too afraid to talk to people, answer my phone or leave the house for that long. But it is what it is, and I am getting a lot better every day.
