Love is something I spend a lot of time mulling over. I've loved deeply yet never get what I'm seeking from my love relationships. My heart has been broken yet I have left everyone except my first GF and BF. And I do energy work. I work on hormones, neurotransmitters and the other trace protein structures that make us all feel/do what we feel/do.
Love is a combination of testosterone, estrogen, oxytocin, vasopressin, prolactin and it's all run by dopamine. It's amazing to hear scientists talk about the neural pathways and how the brain reacts to love. A recent NY times article said (a paraphrase) when we're born, the high amount of O makes us bond with our families and we spend the rest of our lives seeking THAT level of O. V makes us swoon (vasopressin is also called antidiuretic hormone) at the sight/thought of our love. P is released involuntarily during orgasm and is involved with sexual gratification. They use it as a marker for seizure behavior because all muscles will clench when one has a seizure.
All this studying and research has me pensive, brooding and pining for what I don't have. I know I love deep and hard. I feel it may be that I am setting the bar out of human reach. I have to be happy with the notion that I've had my share of love and what I'm looking for...probably won't happen this life time. Am I looking for the O I felt at birth? Maybe. My mother never loved or cared for me. I believe she is a pathological liar and probably has a huge hand in why I'm as empathic as I am now. When one says a lie, I see and feel it immediately (thanks to O).
Anyways....I love love. Just wish love loved me as much as I love love.
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