Hi Apocalipstic,
This is true how can anyone know, however I'm wondering about a few things.
This is me analyzing ok: the word natural and the word practice.
I'm making up words in order to see if it helps me articulate.
True no one knows, however when naturally needs are met with out practicing,
About the party you were with a date and butch text you -
Let me share with you something I recently discover ok...
Space...
each of us has space. each of us has needs with in our space, either to share, or to have privacy.
Then there's abandonment, invasion, in space...
what I hear from your message is this sense of both...
I'm going to read tones ok:
The tone I'm getting from your message is this sense of abandonment with in your space and yet now your wondering if you're invasion in butch's space due to expectation with in your needs in space...
I'm learning too ok, and actually I'm learning alot from this thread...
I feel expectations when you sense a need, isn't the same of when I was writing earlier about expectations in exchange...
I see needs as more a relationship, vs when exchange even though one could see this also as needs, (you know what I think I need more range of vocabulary here...)
I sense you need from your butch and text was abandoning your need with the space you're sharing with butch.
Now yes if you communicate to butch about your need, a couple of things could happen.
Butch listens and applies however this is where tone is read.
Is it practice or natural...
However another question what is error?
or is error info about language of needs, cause to correct error how can correction be natural? so maybe need to read tone here as well...
If its practice and not natural then its not in the same language of needs...
Long term relationships: years of being together: I observe relationships around me: what ever been practice never becomes apart of but only has to be work, and its work...
Its not natural...
I'll share me: ok for example I love playing chess. so I'm an extreme visual analytical person ok...
So I could say I'm a visual analytical femme.
Now lets say (I'm making this up ok) lets say I went out with a butch who finds my visual analytical mind slow and boring, cause this part of me effects other areas such as verbal speed socail...
Now if I ask the butch to pracise allowing my slow analytical digesting each stage to practice around me to allow me space in the butch's fast environment as I can be slow and inward and quiet as I observe, and the butch was willing to practice this,, how long will this last, this practice when its probably so heavy for the butch to carry and its work then..., as well as its work for me too...
So what I'm wondering even though there's text and who knows what other kind of devises someday we will have: listening to your message to the tone, if you do make your needs known - sense the tone - if the butch is naturally or practising...
Some times we want so badly that we'll settle for practice, but how long can a relationship be working full time,
see in your situation you're on a date, then in a date is sensing natural or practice...
practise is exchange, natural is relationship.
I'm learning this too ok, about space, and the different languages there are about space.
it can happen the other way around, a butch can being doing things for a femme that doesn't even need those things, yet she might find herself practicing to need those things, that's not natural...
I saw this on line about maybe its 5 different language of love, forgiveness, and... not sure what else, but it got me thinking, if there's 5 languages and maybe even more.,
what is your language and is it the same language as to the butch your dating or is this a sign there's different language in this sign that you felt when butch text you....
if you could write the ideal butch for you what would this language look like, and if you go a step further and write the errors the butch would make, how would those errors look, for you then to communicate to to make known for natural to continue...
cause what is errors really ...
if long term relationship practice its stress,
the more natural is in a relationship the more ease relaxing and harmony.
this is me analyzing,
practice vs natural...
what is your language of love, forgiveness and... is it the same as your date? or so different that how can see and understand and if can see and understand, still can ever be natural or will it always be work...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Apocalipstic
Great post! 
I think with each of us individually, there are ways we want and need to be treated and I think it is important to remember that not everyone will know how we expect to be treated...since it is different for each person.
There is not set way Femmes must be treated, or Butches must be treated. There is no handbook we all have, even though at times it may seem everyone else has the handbook but me.
I went to a party a few weeks ago with someone who wanted to date me. She pulled up outside, and texted me to come on out. I was surprised. I am used to a Butch who comes politely to the door to pick me up....but on more reflection, I realize that I was shocked because of my own expectations of what Butch is, and how I might act if I asked out someone Femme. I can't do this, all I can control is me. I can tell someone I want them to knock on the door to pick me up or not But unless I actually tell the person what is bothering me, as it sounds like the original poster did, then if I am angry, the only person I am hurting is me.
Am I making sense? |