I have anaphylactic allergies. Peanuts, all treenuts and tomatoes.
In terms of tomatoes, I can't touch them, but I can be around them if the person eating is in far enough distance.
Peanuts and nuts, I stay FAR away from. And believe me, people have been quite ignorant. Even with my tomato allergy. Servers have asked "Is ketchup or BBQ sauce ok?" Oi.
I was dog sitting for a friend. I went to her place the night before she left as she was leaving at 6am. It was about 7pm, and I needed to look something up so she let me jump on her computer, which she'd been on earlier. I felt my lips start to tingle, got red spots on my hands and my throat was getting tight. I asked her if she had any peanuts she might have left out and she informed me she had eaten a snickers bar when she was on the computer and thought it wouldn't harm me if I didn't know and she ate it quietly, disposed of wrapper and washed her hands. I ended up in the ER and she had to delay her trip by a couple of days until I was well enough to dog sit. This wasn't the first time she made a mistake, and she wasn't the last person to make a mistake. The last landed me in the hospital again only this time I needed an extra dose of epinephrin, injectable diphenhydramine, on an IV and a nebulizer of salbutamol and steroids.
The problem with peanuts and nuts, is that they have very potent oils in them. When you smell peanuts, you're not just smelling the food, you're inhaling the essence of them. My allergist is with the AAAI and has won many awards, taught in universities and done LOADS of research in immunology. He's taught me so much and if not for him and the stuff he's informed me about, I would be dead.
I fully agree with banning peanuts from schools. Kids are kids. They share pens, participate in sports together, rough house with each other, they have physical contact. Let's say I didn't have an allergy and someone else's kid did. My kid just ate a bag of peanuts at lunch and forgot to wash their hands, they go and give your kid a high five. Your kid goes into shock and dies. Sounds extreme, but it is very possible.
Some people want to complain about peanut/nut allergies and how they have to 'be careful'. A persons life would be far more complicated if they were claiming their space as a peanut eater and the person next to them drops dead from a reaction.
I rarely eat at other people's houses and I only will if I really, truly trust them and know for a fact they know how to be safe. I usually make a joke about it. "I know it sucks having to go to all the trouble, but I think there'll be more trouble if I'm on your floor..." and it always gets a laugh.
A place I'm on the board of directors for had a 'social bonding time' at one of the other board members places, who happens to be a doctor. There's also another doctor on the board, so I had two at hand in case anything went down at dinner lol Of course, all I had to worry about was tomatoes as there were no peanuts or nuts there.....but the theme was Mexican, so my anxiety was way up lol
If I date someone, they have to give up peanuts and nuts, because the oils remain in the skin and mouth for a day or so, despite flossing and brushing. It is far too risky. Tomatoes, they could eat, but not if they want to get intimate that night lol. My home is peanut/nut/tomato free and always will be. There are alternatives, I have soybutter instead of peanut butter and make a killer chicken 'satay' with it
I eat roasted soybeans and order my trailmix from NoNuttin, a company here in BC.
I carry my own little allergy kit. Epipen, benadryl, inhaler. I have a medicalert bracelet.
In terms of scent allergies, I understand those, but it is impossible to avoid. Many health centres here are scent free. But if you go to someone's home, you take that chance of being exposed to a scent, or any other allergen. The only thing we can truly control, is what goes into our own homes.
Food...there are restaurants I know I just shouldn't go to. I was upset when one of my favourite local small restaurants incorporated peanuts into their milkshakes, desserts and some of their food. I had to stop going there. But I adjust, I research, I do all I can to stay safe.