Quote:
Originally Posted by canadianmusician
In terms of scent allergies, I understand those, but it is impossible to avoid. Many health centres here are scent free. But if you go to someone's home, you take that chance of being exposed to a scent, or any other allergen. The only thing we can truly control, is what goes into our own homes.
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i agree. for people with mild or moderate mcs it is possible to go into spaces if there's been an effort to make the space scent-free, but for a friend of mine with severe mcs, she has to wear a gas mask all of the time essentially, and even then taking in chemicals through skin and mucus membranes causes a reaction for her, though the mask does help. we're in the process of traveling together to a conference and trying to figure out the best way to make our personal space while we're staying there scent-free because she has to at least have some place she can go where she can take off her mask. usually that would be one's home. but it can be hard for partners who don't understand...my partner is starting to make the transition to unscented products now. it's also a problem when around family or friends who don't take it seriously. most of my friends with more severe mcs are pretty socially isolated because of it.
but, like...if the church i go to instituted a scent-free policy where they got rid of scented soap and air fresheners and encouraged folks to not use cologne/perfume, church would be much more bearable for me and other people who have mcs. as it is i'm considering buying a mask because that's one of the most highly toxic places i go on a regular basis. obviously the detergent folks are using and the cleaners used to clean the church are still toxic but the level of chemicals would be somewhat more tolerable for my body. when i'm at my sister's house, i spend most of the time feeling physically like crap because she refuses not to use scented candles and air fresheners. etc. it's not just public space that's the issue (i accept it as a fact of life when i go into public spaces) but also private spaces and community spaces. it really frustrates me when people who are supposedly working around disability issues or who are involved in social justice movements and supposedly want to build community together with me (and friends with mcs) just completely disregard this, because it's basically excluding a lot of people. and it makes me angry that it's treated as a preference or something when it is an actual allergy and it has physical consequences for our health. a friend of mine recently went to a social justice event where the organizers allowed the use of flash cameras and she told them she was going to get a seizure if they didn't ask people to turn the flash off and she got a seizure and they acted put out - but said they wanted her there (she's a well-known writer and activist). to me, if someone cares about me or wants my presence in their life it should be an issue. but i'm beginning to accept that i'm going to have to just wear a mask more often because people's desire to wear scents is more important than other people's health. i'm in the process of becoming more assertive about these issues with folks in my life, but it's something that i accepted for so long as part of the norm (not having access and having to overcompensate myself) and i'm used to being the doormat/peacemaker so taking on that role when it comes to my health is difficult. it's hard to get people to understand that their preference (wearing scents or organizing things that are up huge flights of stairs) means i'm not going to be able to get out of bed the next day or week because of pain. i'm used to accepting that their preference is more important than my health and working on changing that over the last few years has been good for me health-wise but really difficult emotionally, especially with social anxieties and misunderstanding.
i can't believe your friend did that with the snickers bar, though - i mean, eating it before you got there and then trying to hide it and pretend it wouldn't be a problem, knowing that you can't be in spaces where peanuts have been. that to me is incredibly insensitive. :\ i can't wrap my mind around how people can think their desire to consume peanuts is somehow more important than a child's right to not go into anaphylactic shock on the playground. our individualistic society has gone to a ridiculous extreme of just not caring about each other's needs AT ALL, so much of the time. wanting to eat peanuts should not be more important than someone's right to be in a community space like a school or even a public space without dying or having a severe allergic reaction.