Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post - Why lipstick lesbians have to keep coming out of the closet

femmsational · 05-25-2012, 04:33 PM

I came out later in life. I was married to a man when I figured out I was in fact a big old dyke. I'd never been with a woman in any way but had always been unhappy. I'm not sure how to explain it other than it just dawned on me why I always got a little flutter in the tummy around butch women and men never did a thing for me. So, I got divorced and proceeded to try and figure out *my* gay. Or how I fit into the world as a lesbian.

I didn't know what to do so I hit a lesbian bar, had a couple flings, and joined a lesbian hiking club I found locally on line. It took almost a year before they even believed me. Which I can understand. I had been married and I was REAL new to being who I should have been all along.

It was so frustrating. I sure as hell wasn't going to change who I was, or how I presented, I was gay, not fashion confused??? I liked make-up, skirts, heels but I also wore jeans and boots to work every day and came home smelling like every nasty horse thing you can think of.

At first it bothered me. I met someone and began a year long relationship. It didn't work out and when I tried to tell her kindly that I was sorry but it wasn't working for me, she blew a gasket and yelled at me...."I should know better about you straight girls."

This from someone I dated for a year

At that point I was pissed. I was who I was. If "they" don't get it, that's on "them." I had a moment. Got really mad one night and got one kanji tattoo on my right wrist that represents a rainbow and another on my left wrist that represents woman.....and I felt better. I stopped caring and just started living my life. I met someone who "got it" and dated them for four years. It seems to get easier the older I get. I guess I'm unwilling to give that much power to people who don't get me.

I don't "come out" today at all. I feel like if someone asks me if I'm married I just say yeah, my husband, she's wonderful. They either get it or they don't lol. If someone asks me about me, I'm filling in THEIR blank with my answer. So I really don't consider it me coming out. I'm already out.

I do understand the frustration about being unseen as who I am. But I just can't bring myself to care anymore. Unless of course someone acts a fool about it.

This is just how it works for ME!!! I hope I haven't offened anyone.

Take care,
julie

05-25-2012, 04:33 PM	#18
femmsational Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: bitch, but she will do Join Date: May 2012 Location: Jomtien Thailand Posts: 808 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 866 Thanked 3,787 Times in 773 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	I came out later in life. I was married to a man when I figured out I was in fact a big old dyke. I'd never been with a woman in any way but had always been unhappy. I'm not sure how to explain it other than it just dawned on me why I always got a little flutter in the tummy around butch women and men never did a thing for me. So, I got divorced and proceeded to try and figure out my gay. Or how I fit into the world as a lesbian. I didn't know what to do so I hit a lesbian bar, had a couple flings, and joined a lesbian hiking club I found locally on line. It took almost a year before they even believed me. Which I can understand. I had been married and I was REAL new to being who I should have been all along. It was so frustrating. I sure as hell wasn't going to change who I was, or how I presented, I was gay, not fashion confused??? I liked make-up, skirts, heels but I also wore jeans and boots to work every day and came home smelling like every nasty horse thing you can think of. At first it bothered me. I met someone and began a year long relationship. It didn't work out and when I tried to tell her kindly that I was sorry but it wasn't working for me, she blew a gasket and yelled at me...."I should know better about you straight girls." This from someone I dated for a year At that point I was pissed. I was who I was. If "they" don't get it, that's on "them." I had a moment. Got really mad one night and got one kanji tattoo on my right wrist that represents a rainbow and another on my left wrist that represents woman.....and I felt better. I stopped caring and just started living my life. I met someone who "got it" and dated them for four years. It seems to get easier the older I get. I guess I'm unwilling to give that much power to people who don't get me. I don't "come out" today at all. I feel like if someone asks me if I'm married I just say yeah, my husband, she's wonderful. They either get it or they don't lol. If someone asks me about me, I'm filling in THEIR blank with my answer. So I really don't consider it me coming out. I'm already out. I do understand the frustration about being unseen as who I am. But I just can't bring myself to care anymore. Unless of course someone acts a fool about it. This is just how it works for ME!!! I hope I haven't offened anyone. Take care, julie __________________ If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough" Albert Einstein Yes, I'm aware I can't spell, and no, I don't care quite enough to spell check. Sorry!!!