been a rough few months on my side of sanity, some things progressively damaged and destroyed along the way,
many other things beautifully built, and are still safely treasured too...
and somedays, i gotta say, theres times i'm barely standin for the moment...
no different from anyone elses story really.. yes?
i spent my evening at the hospital, having some issues due to radiation burning, etc..
its pretty painful already.. not at all pleasant, and truthfully, i'm just beginning this part of my new lifes journey...
it ain't healed yet- but it will be, i feel it.... and it's gotta be... cuz i never give up my faith, or my life.
or my purdy southern rose colored glasses that everybody fusses at me about!
lol... hey, they're cute! and i gotta believe in somethin... right?
keeping my faith, always.. and in all ways.
i smile in knowing that stories of past, no longer bind me to my present...
forgiveness is truly a divine thing.. wether asking for it, or freely giving it...
and i'm free to fly on new wings of faith, just as those in my past, i truly wish them well...
wish them love and their own lifes blessings. its a beautiful thing, to breathe easy again..
with a clean slate, goodbyes with meaning, new journeys for all.. past, present and future.
But having said all that,
i gotta say that i'm truly smiling at my life's present gifts this morning...
last night, in the middle of all the aches and pains, and fears, nurses, docs...
all telling me all kinds of new scary stuff thats fixin to happen-
here Hy came-thru the curtain.. in Hys sleepin pants and tshirt,
in the middle of the night, after a 13 hour day in the big rig,
because i needed Hym. Hy didnt have to come, i knew i was fine, just feelin real icky... but Hy did,
knowin in less than 4 hours, Hyd have to go right back to the truck, and do it again.
it didnt matter... but i mattered, and W/we mattered.
Might not mean a dang thing to nobody else, and i could care less bout that-
assumptions can truly run amuck.. it truly does not phase me whats said.
but yanno what? It made my heart smile... there are blessings to behold still.. i know this.
anyone who truly knows me or cares to know me,
knows just how much that little thing meant to me, especially right now.
if you're willing to put in the work... and i am... hell yes.
it meant something to me.. little big things are everything to me.
lately, theres been a rediscovery, an awakening of sorts all around me..
be it within the love and strength of my family, who have been like rocks in my care and support,
or my most magnificent and most sacred inner circle of my other family... i call them my friends.
i have the most exquisite people in my life, and i am such a blessed girl... i know this.
my chosen family has been there, each step of the way..
i see, feel, touch, grasp and recieve the utmost, and unconditional love and friendship from my friends..
old ones, new ones, re-discovered ones.. its truly amazing the blessings i behold when i look around me.
what made me smile today?
good gawd- truly, what didn't?
