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Old 06-07-2012, 05:41 PM   #4
thedivahrrrself
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Friendship Survey


Part 1 of 5: Logistic availability

1) How often do you see your friends in person?
Many of my friends live a couple hours away, so usually once a month I see my bestie. My in-town friends, sadly between school and work, don't get a lot more time than that.

2) How often do you talk on the phone, email, skype, etc. a friend?
Twice a week, unless he/she is a texter, then like every day.

3) Is childcare a consideration, when you’re making plans with a friend?
If they have children, I suppose it would be. I like doing kid stuff, but I don't like taking kids shopping.

4) Are finances a consideration?
Nope

5) Is accessibility or health a consideration?
Not for me

6) Is your work or class schedule a consideration?
Yup, I work weird hours, and go to school most weekends. Kinda limits my social interaction time.

7) Does last-minute planning figure into your friendships, either out of necessity or just because that’s the way you prefer it?
I love last-minute planning. I'm a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of girl. Unfortunately, significant others don't seem to like this much, so I'm learning to schedule things in advance.


Part 2 of 5: Boundaries, expectations and values

1) What are your thoughts on butch/femme friendships?
LOVE my butch friends! Most of them are not that much fun to shop with though...

2) If your partner didn’t like someone, would you still be friends with that person?
Depends on the reason they didn't like them.

3) Describe a time someone cut you off as a friend.
I can't really think of one, recently. My best friend when I was younger was a gay man, and he cut everyone out of his life to go start a new one.

4) Describe a time you cut someone off as a friend.
When I found them to be dishonest or mean, or disrespectful of my time (she stood me up for get togethers multiple times, very last minute, with no good excuses). I don't have time for people who aren't truly good people in my life.

5) How would you respond, if you realized a friend had a substance abuse problem?
This rarely ends well. I tend to say something, they tend not to like the fact that I noticed. And BTW "substance abuse problem" does not mean just using something, it means an actual problem.

6) How would you respond, if your friend were in an abusive relationship?
If it's a very close friend and physical abuse, if I'm honest, I'd probably threaten to kill the abuser. I've never been in a fight, but I'm a fierce ally if I love you.

7) If you began to have romantic feelings about your (partnered) friend, what would you do?
Distance myself until they went away.

8) If you began to have romantic feelings about your (single) friend, what would you do?
If I was single...Pine.
LOL I don't make first moves.

9) If your friend had what you considered an annoying, albeit harmless habit, would you tell her?
Probably, though he/she may or may not change it.

10) Describe a time that you “outgrew” a friend, if applicable.
I used to be more interested in having many friends rather than good ones, and as I grew up, I outgrew several friends as my standards got stricter.

11) How many years have you known your oldest friend? How have you managed to stay friends, over time?
23 years - when we get together, it's like no time has passed at all, though it may be years between our visits.

12) Do you have any friends who are exes? What’s your philosophy about that?
No, I'm trying to maintain some semblance of a friendship with my longest-relationship-ex, but I'm really not sure how people make this work. If you can, bully for you!

13) How do you feel about “friends with benefits”?
Nice in theory, doesn't usually work.

14) How do your expectations of a friend differ from your expectations of a romantic partner?
I expect my friend to be probably more loyal and more brutally honest than a partner, but then again maybe that's just my experience with partners...

15) Describe a time when you really came through for a friend.
I drove across the state to pick up a friend after her boyfriend beat her, and yes, I did threaten his life (hence my answer in question 6).

16) Describe a time a friend really came through for you.
I have some of the greatest friends in the world. My bestie has been there listening to every problem I've ever had, knowing how to cheer me up is one of the most difficult things I think a friend can do, and she always knows how to make me smile, no matter how sour my mood.

17) What are a few deal breakers that would stop you being friends with someone?
Dishonesty, drama addiction, snottiness.

18) What are the kinds of characters flaws you can overlook in a friend?
slightly judgmental, know-it-all, shopping addiction

Part 3 of 5: How important is it to you that:

1) …your friend’s age is fairly close to yours?
not at all, most of my friends are significantly older.

2) …your friend’s educational level is similar to yours?
intelligence level is more important than education level. i'm over-educated anyway.

3) …your friend’s economic situation is similar to yours?
as I get older, I realize that this should probably more important than it is. I don't necessarily mind, but it can suck to always be the one footing the bill for your friends.

4) …your friend’s religious beliefs are similar to yours?
not at all. (but no preaching)

5) …your friend’s class background is similar to yours?
I'm not sure what my class background is...LOL our socio-economic status changed a lot. I don't get along well with really spoiled people.

6) …your friend’s gender identity or sexual preference is similar to yours?
not at all

7) …your small or adult children like your friends?
n/a. my dogs will probably not like you, at first. Just FYI

8) …your friends like to include your children, when you hang out together?
If I have to drive somewhere for a weekend trip, the chihuahua is probably coming. Get used to it. and be glad I left the hairy one at home.

Part 4 of 5: Which of the following shared activities with a friend appeal to you?

1) Attending singles events and supporting each other as you scan the environment for someone to flirt with, etc.
meh...if that's what ya wanna do, ok...

2) Exercising; outdoors or indoors
very, I ♥ walking, even if it's not for "exercise", I walk a LOT.

3) Watching movies or videos; at home or in a theater
can be fun

4) Playing video or electronic games; at home or somewhere else
not required, but I have a Kinect, and the Star Wars game just came out I'm just sayin'....

5) Attending sports events or watching sports on TV
Not important. I like women's sports. I hate the NFL. I will only do that crap for a partner.

6) Participating in team sports
I suck at all sports, but I have heart! (dodgeball or bowling preferred. please don't make me catch a ball or swing at anything. it's not likely to happen)

7) Attending cultural events (museums, concerts, readings, etc.)
YES! please be geeky.

8) Shopping
Important, though I understand if this is not your thing. Must have good taste in shoes.

9) Cooking, or eating in restaurants
I love to eat. I'm learning to love to cook, so bear with me on that one.

10) Visiting wildlife centers, going to a county fair, hanging out to watch the dog run in an urban area, bird watching—anything that involves animals
I dig the zoo, I'll probably stick to the rides at the fair. I live in Oklahoma, I've seen enough cows to last a lifetime, thanks. I ♥ the dog park. I'm probably not a good birdwatching companion. I'm a terrible fisher(wo)man, so you'll have to bait my hook.

11) Other
"Other" is very important. Must be an "other"

Part 5 of 5: What important things has this survey left out?

Geekiness - must like at least one of the following things:

Science (astronomy/physics earns you extra coolness points)
History
Technology
Star Wars/Game of Thrones/Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (bonus points for all three)

BONUS QUESTION: In your opinion, has the fact that this survey was created by a femme, affected it in any way?

Yes, it made me immediately think of shoe shopping after I read that.
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