[ruffryder]

Part 1 of 5: Logistic availability

1) How often do you see your friends in person? not very often.

2) How often do you talk on the phone, email, skype, etc. a friend? same as above. FB is usually the form of communication with friends.

3) Is childcare a consideration, when you’re making plans with a friend? not anymore. my daughter is grown.

4) Are finances a consideration? could be.

5) Is accessibility or health a consideration? perhaps if it is for them.

6) Is your work or class schedule a consideration? yup.

7) Does last-minute planning figure into your friendships, either out of necessity or just because that’s the way you prefer it? It happens planned or unplanned.


Part 2 of 5: Boundaries, expectations and values

1) What are your thoughts on butch/femme friendships? they can be a good thing.

2) If your partner didn’t like someone, would you still be friends with that person? most likely not because there would more than likely be a reason why.

3) Describe a time someone cut you off as a friend. we didn't have the same views so I guess they felt we had nothing in common?

4) Describe a time you cut someone off as a friend. I don't like lying and drama.

5) How would you respond, if you realized a friend had a substance abuse problem? I would bring it up so we could talk about it.

6) How would you respond, if your friend were in an abusive relationship? Same as 5. I would tell them they deserve better, no one should be abused and I'm here if they need me. More than likely I would go off on the abuser. I don't like my loved ones being harmed.

7) If you began to have romantic feelings about your (partnered) friend, what would you do? There would have to be a conversation about this as to why there are feelings.

8) If you began to have romantic feelings about your (single) friend, what would you do? If I am single I would find out if they feel the same and perhaps take it to the next level if we felt the friendship wouldn't be broken. Ruined the friendship once and worked to our advantage another time. I think both people have to feel the same and not hold back.

9) If your friend had what you considered an annoying, albeit harmless habit, would you tell her? probably.

10) Describe a time that you “outgrew” a friend, if applicable. I would say in high school and in my 20's and because I just didn't go out to clubs/bars as much as them anymore.

11) How many years have you known your oldest friend? How have you managed to stay friends, over time? 20+ years. . and continued talking and staying in touch over the years.

12) Do you have any friends who are exes? What’s your philosophy about that? I do. I think space is needed for healing and forgiving before you can approach a friendship again.

13) How do you feel about “friends with benefits”? I've been there, done that. In my case It turned into more. I guess it can work depending on what each wants and expects.

14) How do your expectations of a friend differ from your expectations of a romantic partner? I have higher expectations when I'm in a relationship.

15) Describe a time when you really came through for a friend. I was their soft place to land when they needed an escape.

16) Describe a time a friend really came through for you. Kept me sane and offered support and assistance.

17) What are a few deal breakers that would stop you being friends with someone? lies, put my life or one of my loved one's in danger, excessive drug/alcohol abuse, drama llama, it has stopped being a give and take relationship, find out they are talking shit.

18) What are the kinds of characters flaws you can overlook in a friend? quirks, bad habits.. we all have them!


Part 3 of 5: How important is it to you that:

1) …your friend’s age is fairly close to yours? not very important

2) …your friend’s educational level is similar to yours? not important

3) …your friend’s economic situation is similar to yours? not important

4) …your friend’s religious beliefs are similar to yours? not very important

5) …your friend’s class background is similar to yours? not important

6) …your friend’s gender identity or sexual preference is similar to yours? not important

7) …your small or adult children like your friends? somewhat important

8) …your friends like to include your children, when you hang out together? sometimes important


Part 4 of 5: Which of the following shared activities with a friend appeal to you? Watching movies or videos; at home or in a theater, Attending sports events or watching sports on TV , Attending cultural events (museums, concerts, readings, etc.), Shopping, Cooking, or eating in restaurants, Going to places with the kids, Swimming, Going to the beach, Sometimes clubbing, going to a lounge/bar to play pool.

Part 5 of 5: What important things has this survey left out?


BONUS QUESTION: In your opinion, has the fact that this survey was created by a femme, affected it in any way? Nope.