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Ginger · 06-08-2012, 09:22 AM

[QUOTE=nycfembbw;598740]Part 1 of 5: Logistic availability

2) How often do you talk on the phone, email, skype, etc. a friend?

Never Skype, sometimes email, love to talk on the phone if it's someone who can get off when one of us wants without any awkwardness, like the way I talk to my mom (several times a day but often about nothing and sometimes for hours and sometimes just a few minutes).

I had no idea you talk to your mom so much!

1) What are your thoughts on butch/femme friendships?

I have both, and let's not forget the FTMs

Right!

3) Describe a time someone cut you off as a friend.

She got romantically involved with someone more conservative/mainstream and not BF identified and became pregnant, and we just veered in different directions. I think I subconsciously "tested" her by becoming particularly difficult. Subconsciously I think I wanted her to say, "I love you unconditionally. We'll get through this." I also wonder if I was being difficult because subconsciously I wanted to push her to end our friendship. In any case, when she did end it, I went into a grieving like the end of any longtime love, platonic or otherwise. My heart still has pangs.

This was painful to read. She's nuts!

6) How would you respond, if your friend were in an abusive relationship?

This is always difficult for me. How much to say, how much to keep quiet. It's so hard. I have a few close friends in abusive relationships, and I guess I just play it by ear.

My experience is that you are there for the friend, and speak your mind, but don't judge if the friend doesn't take your advice.

7) If you began to have romantic feelings about your (partnered) friend, what would you do?

Since I'm partnered, clearly the answer would be a foursome. Just kidding, but my mind always leans towards the perverse.

Ha Ha Ha you little pervie kitten!

8) If you began to have romantic feelings about your (single) friend, what would you do?

My friendships are deep, and I often have romantic thoughts about friends. I am also a flirt but in a monogamous relationship, so that is as far as it goes.

I didn't realize you're a flirt! I'd like to see that in action.

10) Describe a time that you “outgrew” a friend, if applicable.

I had a gay male friend who was off his rocker, tremendously difficult to deal with, but had a lot of strong points (Don't all gay men!). Finally, I just couldn't take the roller coaster and got off. Sometimes I regret it but mostly I'm relieved.

yeah, it's never black and white, all or nothing; it's always mixed and you have to go by the proportional relationship.

11) How many years have you known your oldest friend? How have you managed to stay friends, over time?

I have a friend, Lisa, who I used to walk to kindergarten with. She'd stay home if I was not going. Even though she ended up staying in small town Ohio, marrying a man, and having kids, and generally leading a much more conservative lifestyle than me, we somehow continue to share memories, humor, and love. Our friendship held. She has breast cancer, and I will fall to pieces if I lose her. She and her kids might visit this summer, and I visit them when I go to Ohio. There is nothing like an old friend.

I hope she will be okay.

12) Do you have any friends who are exes? What’s your philosophy about that?

14) How do your expectations of a friend differ from your expectations of a romantic partner?

I take both very seriously. If I have an issue with a friend, I bring it up. Get ready to process.

HahAHa bring it on!

18) What are the kinds of characters flaws you can overlook in a friend?

Narcissism.

Phew!

What quirks do I bring to a friendship?

I like to do things while I'm talking to you and it doesn't mean you're not interesting. I like to do crafts at all times, stuff I can do while still listening, bonding with you. I'm just weird like that. Don't take it personally.

I totally get that.

06-08-2012, 09:22 AM	#9
Ginger Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme lesbian Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: East coast Posts: 2,416 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,829 Thanked 12,296 Times in 2,057 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	NYCFemBBW's friendship survey [QUOTE=nycfembbw;598740]Part 1 of 5: Logistic availability 2) How often do you talk on the phone, email, skype, etc. a friend? Never Skype, sometimes email, love to talk on the phone if it's someone who can get off when one of us wants without any awkwardness, like the way I talk to my mom (several times a day but often about nothing and sometimes for hours and sometimes just a few minutes). I had no idea you talk to your mom so much! 1) What are your thoughts on butch/femme friendships? I have both, and let's not forget the FTMs Right! 3) Describe a time someone cut you off as a friend. She got romantically involved with someone more conservative/mainstream and not BF identified and became pregnant, and we just veered in different directions. I think I subconsciously "tested" her by becoming particularly difficult. Subconsciously I think I wanted her to say, "I love you unconditionally. We'll get through this." I also wonder if I was being difficult because subconsciously I wanted to push her to end our friendship. In any case, when she did end it, I went into a grieving like the end of any longtime love, platonic or otherwise. My heart still has pangs. This was painful to read. She's nuts! 6) How would you respond, if your friend were in an abusive relationship? This is always difficult for me. How much to say, how much to keep quiet. It's so hard. I have a few close friends in abusive relationships, and I guess I just play it by ear. My experience is that you are there for the friend, and speak your mind, but don't judge if the friend doesn't take your advice. 7) If you began to have romantic feelings about your (partnered) friend, what would you do? Since I'm partnered, clearly the answer would be a foursome. Just kidding, but my mind always leans towards the perverse. Ha Ha Ha you little pervie kitten! 8) If you began to have romantic feelings about your (single) friend, what would you do? My friendships are deep, and I often have romantic thoughts about friends. I am also a flirt but in a monogamous relationship, so that is as far as it goes. I didn't realize you're a flirt! I'd like to see that in action. 10) Describe a time that you “outgrew” a friend, if applicable. I had a gay male friend who was off his rocker, tremendously difficult to deal with, but had a lot of strong points (Don't all gay men!). Finally, I just couldn't take the roller coaster and got off. Sometimes I regret it but mostly I'm relieved. yeah, it's never black and white, all or nothing; it's always mixed and you have to go by the proportional relationship. 11) How many years have you known your oldest friend? How have you managed to stay friends, over time? I have a friend, Lisa, who I used to walk to kindergarten with. She'd stay home if I was not going. Even though she ended up staying in small town Ohio, marrying a man, and having kids, and generally leading a much more conservative lifestyle than me, we somehow continue to share memories, humor, and love. Our friendship held. She has breast cancer, and I will fall to pieces if I lose her. She and her kids might visit this summer, and I visit them when I go to Ohio. There is nothing like an old friend. I hope she will be okay. 12) Do you have any friends who are exes? What’s your philosophy about that? 14) How do your expectations of a friend differ from your expectations of a romantic partner? I take both very seriously. If I have an issue with a friend, I bring it up. Get ready to process. HahAHa bring it on! 18) What are the kinds of characters flaws you can overlook in a friend? Narcissism. Phew! What quirks do I bring to a friendship? I like to do things while I'm talking to you and it doesn't mean you're not interesting. I like to do crafts at all times, stuff I can do while still listening, bonding with you. I'm just weird like that. Don't take it personally. I totally get that.