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Novelafemme · 06-08-2012, 08:22 PM

Part 1 of 5: Logistic availability

1) How often do you see your friends in person? I see my best friend almost daily since we work together.

2) How often do you talk on the phone, email, skype, etc. a friend? I am so not a phone person. I do my best to reply to texts and phone calls.

3) Is childcare a consideration, when you’re making plans with a friend? Nope.

4) Are finances a consideration? Not usually.

5) Is accessibility or health a consideration? No.

6) Is your work or class schedule a consideration? Oh yes. During the semester I will generally be invisible until the weekend and even then it's hard to pin me down socially. I try to meet friends for lunch dates during my work day if I can.

7) Does last-minute planning figure into your friendships, either out of necessity or just because that’s the way you prefer it? I am totally a spur of the moment girl. I love a last minute date!

Part 2 of 5: Boundaries, expectations and values

1) What are your thoughts on butch/femme friendships? The same as my other friendships. My best friend is a guy and we've never had a problem.

2) If your partner didn’t like someone, would you still be friends with that person? It would depend on why. I generally see people through rose colored glasses so sometimes it takes a more discerning eye. She is very loving and non-judgemental so unless the person was crossing some serious boundaries, she trusts my choices completely. If she felt strongly about a friendship I would of course put her before any other relationship.

3) Describe a time someone cut you off as a friend. Unfortunately, it has happened twice in my life, but both times were very necessary and mutually agreed upon. I don't regret our decision and wish them nothing but happiness.

4) Describe a time you cut someone off as a friend. See above. People often want to put me into the friendship choke-hold and that just doesn't work for me.

5) How would you respond, if you realized a friend had a substance abuse problem? I only experienced this a few years ago and it was truly a trying experience. I was socializing with people 5-8 years my junior and they were hard core partiers. Thankfully, I only stuck around for 3-4 months before wising up and making a break for it. If it were a dear friend I would be supportive but realistic. You can't fix someone's broken but you can encourage the necessary repairs.

6) How would you respond, if your friend were in an abusive relationship? Get the hell out. Life is way too short.

7) If you began to have romantic feelings about your (partnered) friend, what would you do? Has never happened and never will.

8) If you began to have romantic feelings about your (single) friend, what would you do? Crushes are one thing. We all have them and 99% of the time they aren't at all sexual. Again, it wouldn't happen.

9) If your friend had what you considered an annoying, albeit harmless habit, would you tell her? Probably not. I'm not easily bothered by the little things.

10) Describe a time that you “outgrew” a friend, if applicable. I've outgrown many of the friendships I made when my girls were babies. Mommy friends are a fabulous support when kiddos are little, but I've found we all somehow end up going our separate ways as the kids get older. Although I do have one mom group I've been a part of for 11 years now.

11) How many years have you known your oldest friend? How have you managed to stay friends, over time? 22 years. And when we get together it's like we are 17 again. I love her to pieces.

12) Do you have any friends who are exes? What’s your philosophy about that? I have less than a handful of exes so I don't have a lot of experience with this, but I am friends with only one. It's taken time, patience and commitment on both our parts, but he is one of my nearest and dearest. We were very close before we became romantically involved. The others I have come to accept that I will never be friends with. And I am very ok with that!

13) How do you feel about “friends with benefits”? Never tried it. Sounds messy.

14) How do your expectations of a friend differ from your expectations of a romantic partner? They differ in that I don't have many expectations of my friends other than that they be good, honest people with no ill intentions. With my partner I expect a whole different level of commitment, emotional and physical fidelity, and trust. Apples and oranges in my book.

15) Describe a time when you really came through for a friend. My bestie has been going through a really rough time lately. Just last night I was up late talking on the phone and texting with him so he could make the drive home feeling less anxious and upset. He's worth it. 150%

16) Describe a time a friend really came through for you. My wedding day. I had a make up crisis and my dear friend ran to the store for all sorts of make up requests just a half hour before the nuptials. Then she put it all on me.

I was so grateful to her!

17) What are a few deal breakers that would stop you being friends with someone? Remember that choke-hold I mentioned earlier? Ya, that! And being judgmental.

18) What are the kinds of characters flaws you can overlook in a friend? Bossy, gassy, thumb sucker. Really...I'm not demanding!

Part 3 of 5: How important is it to you that:

1) …your friend’s age is fairly close to yours? -

2) …your friend’s educational level is similar to yours? -

3) …your friend’s economic situation is similar to yours? -

4) …your friend’s religious beliefs are similar to yours? -

5) …your friend’s class background is similar to yours? -

6) …your friend’s gender identity or sexual preference is similar to yours? -

7) …your small or adult children like your friends? slightly

8) …your friends like to include your children, when you hang out together? i might have a problem if my kids were purposefully not included.

Part 4 of 5: Which of the following shared activities with a friend appeal to you?

1) Attending singles events and supporting each other as you scan the environment for someone to flirt with, etc. Like a bar? This does not sound like fun to me at all.

2) Exercising; outdoors or indoors YES!

3) Watching movies or videos; at home or in a theater meh...

4) Playing video or electronic games; at home or somewhere else ish.

5) Attending sports events or watching sports on TV meh...

6) Participating in team sports sure!

7) Attending cultural events (museums, concerts, readings, etc.) hell's ya!

8) Shopping yep!

9) Cooking, or eating in restaurants yes, please!

10) Visiting wildlife centers, going to a county fair, hanging out to watch the dog run in an urban area, bird watching—anything that involves animals sure!

11) Other floating in the pool, listening to music and chatting the afternoon away.

Part 5 of 5: What important things has this survey left out? -

BONUS QUESTION: In your opinion, has the fact that this survey was created by a femme, affected it in any way? the thought never crossed my mind

I am a sucker for a good survey!!

06-08-2012, 08:22 PM	#44
Novelafemme Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: ........ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ........ Posts: 2,402 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,981 Thanked 8,925 Times in 1,834 Posts Rep Power: 0	Part 1 of 5: Logistic availability 1) How often do you see your friends in person? I see my best friend almost daily since we work together. 2) How often do you talk on the phone, email, skype, etc. a friend? I am so not a phone person. I do my best to reply to texts and phone calls. 3) Is childcare a consideration, when you’re making plans with a friend? Nope. 4) Are finances a consideration? Not usually. 5) Is accessibility or health a consideration? No. 6) Is your work or class schedule a consideration? Oh yes. During the semester I will generally be invisible until the weekend and even then it's hard to pin me down socially. I try to meet friends for lunch dates during my work day if I can. 7) Does last-minute planning figure into your friendships, either out of necessity or just because that’s the way you prefer it? I am totally a spur of the moment girl. I love a last minute date! Part 2 of 5: Boundaries, expectations and values 1) What are your thoughts on butch/femme friendships? The same as my other friendships. My best friend is a guy and we've never had a problem. 2) If your partner didn’t like someone, would you still be friends with that person? It would depend on why. I generally see people through rose colored glasses so sometimes it takes a more discerning eye. She is very loving and non-judgemental so unless the person was crossing some serious boundaries, she trusts my choices completely. If she felt strongly about a friendship I would of course put her before any other relationship. 3) Describe a time someone cut you off as a friend. Unfortunately, it has happened twice in my life, but both times were very necessary and mutually agreed upon. I don't regret our decision and wish them nothing but happiness. 4) Describe a time you cut someone off as a friend. See above. People often want to put me into the friendship choke-hold and that just doesn't work for me. 5) How would you respond, if you realized a friend had a substance abuse problem? I only experienced this a few years ago and it was truly a trying experience. I was socializing with people 5-8 years my junior and they were hard core partiers. Thankfully, I only stuck around for 3-4 months before wising up and making a break for it. If it were a dear friend I would be supportive but realistic. You can't fix someone's broken but you can encourage the necessary repairs. 6) How would you respond, if your friend were in an abusive relationship? Get the hell out. Life is way too short. 7) If you began to have romantic feelings about your (partnered) friend, what would you do? Has never happened and never will. 8) If you began to have romantic feelings about your (single) friend, what would you do? Crushes are one thing. We all have them and 99% of the time they aren't at all sexual. Again, it wouldn't happen. 9) If your friend had what you considered an annoying, albeit harmless habit, would you tell her? Probably not. I'm not easily bothered by the little things. 10) Describe a time that you “outgrew” a friend, if applicable. I've outgrown many of the friendships I made when my girls were babies. Mommy friends are a fabulous support when kiddos are little, but I've found we all somehow end up going our separate ways as the kids get older. Although I do have one mom group I've been a part of for 11 years now. 11) How many years have you known your oldest friend? How have you managed to stay friends, over time? 22 years. And when we get together it's like we are 17 again. I love her to pieces. 12) Do you have any friends who are exes? What’s your philosophy about that? I have less than a handful of exes so I don't have a lot of experience with this, but I am friends with only one. It's taken time, patience and commitment on both our parts, but he is one of my nearest and dearest. We were very close before we became romantically involved. The others I have come to accept that I will never be friends with. And I am very ok with that! 13) How do you feel about “friends with benefits”? Never tried it. Sounds messy. 14) How do your expectations of a friend differ from your expectations of a romantic partner? They differ in that I don't have many expectations of my friends other than that they be good, honest people with no ill intentions. With my partner I expect a whole different level of commitment, emotional and physical fidelity, and trust. Apples and oranges in my book. 15) Describe a time when you really came through for a friend. My bestie has been going through a really rough time lately. Just last night I was up late talking on the phone and texting with him so he could make the drive home feeling less anxious and upset. He's worth it. 150% 16) Describe a time a friend really came through for you. My wedding day. I had a make up crisis and my dear friend ran to the store for all sorts of make up requests just a half hour before the nuptials. Then she put it all on me. I was so grateful to her! 17) What are a few deal breakers that would stop you being friends with someone? Remember that choke-hold I mentioned earlier? Ya, that! And being judgmental. 18) What are the kinds of characters flaws you can overlook in a friend? Bossy, gassy, thumb sucker. Really...I'm not demanding! Part 3 of 5: How important is it to you that: 1) …your friend’s age is fairly close to yours? - 2) …your friend’s educational level is similar to yours? - 3) …your friend’s economic situation is similar to yours? - 4) …your friend’s religious beliefs are similar to yours? - 5) …your friend’s class background is similar to yours? - 6) …your friend’s gender identity or sexual preference is similar to yours? - 7) …your small or adult children like your friends? slightly 8) …your friends like to include your children, when you hang out together? i might have a problem if my kids were purposefully not included. Part 4 of 5: Which of the following shared activities with a friend appeal to you? 1) Attending singles events and supporting each other as you scan the environment for someone to flirt with, etc. Like a bar? This does not sound like fun to me at all. 2) Exercising; outdoors or indoors YES! 3) Watching movies or videos; at home or in a theater meh... 4) Playing video or electronic games; at home or somewhere else ish. 5) Attending sports events or watching sports on TV meh... 6) Participating in team sports sure! 7) Attending cultural events (museums, concerts, readings, etc.) hell's ya! 8) Shopping yep! 9) Cooking, or eating in restaurants yes, please! 10) Visiting wildlife centers, going to a county fair, hanging out to watch the dog run in an urban area, bird watching—anything that involves animals sure! 11) Other floating in the pool, listening to music and chatting the afternoon away. Part 5 of 5: What important things has this survey left out? - BONUS QUESTION: In your opinion, has the fact that this survey was created by a femme, affected it in any way? the thought never crossed my mind I am a sucker for a good survey!!