[yotlyolqualli]

It's nice to know that this has happened to other people.

When I came out to myself, and subsequently to my family, church and friends, it wasn't like everyone was in the same room and I only had to say it once. There were many phone calls, many times I had to repeat this over and over and over again.

Growing up, one of my best friends, ultimately became my sister-in-law, for about a year, lol. Now, I would often spend the night at her place, or her at mine and we would share the same bed. So, I have her on the phone, I come out to her............................................... ................................. there's this long pause and I know what's coming, so I said.. "no cathy, I've never thought of you in that way." .................................................. ............. another long pause and then, "why not? Don't you think I'm pretty?" I was between a rock and a hard place. No I did not find her pretty. She was not my type and even if she HAD been my type, the whole fucking and marrying my brother, well................. ew. I simply ignored her questions and asked how my niece and nephew were doing.. lol.

Another friend who was married, approached me with a proposition. Seems her husband wanted to "watch her and I" have sex.

Ok, here's the deal and I DID tell her this, "Tracy, I am not into casual sex, I am not interested in married straight women, you are not my type and while some people boldly go where no man has gone before? I will not go where man HAS RECENTLY gone before!" We both laughed and she was cool with it, but I still felt offended that she would even approach me to ask someting like that.

As for the entire femme and what defines a femme?

Even here, the idea that I've done the things I've done, throws some butch women off. I designed and built a deck for my ex. I dug and poured the footers, cut the boards with a circular saw, even leveled off the cement footers with a concrete blade. I fixed the gas line on my sisters van, I replaced car doors, the front door to our house. I chopped wood for many many years before moving into my apartment. I miss the country but I do NOT miss having to build a fire in the mornings!

What bothers me is the whole perception of what a femme can and cannot do. If you're seriously questioning if my tool belt is bigger than yours? Then maybe I am not the femme for you. I'm not afraid to get my hands dirty, not someone who worries about her nails, not someone who wears dresses and heels all the time, if ever. But all these things do not make me any less femme than any other femme out there.