[gaea]

Part 1 of 5: Logistic availability

1) How often do you see your friends in person?
As often as i can

2) How often do you talk on the phone, email, skype, etc. a friend?
as often as possible
3) Is childcare a consideration, when you’re making plans with a friend?
nope if the kid cant go we shouldn't be making those plans
4) Are finances a consideration?
no, there are all kinds of things to do in life that do not require money
5) Is accessibility or health a consideration?
sometimes, i have a friend here with celiac disease so we have to watch her diet
6) Is your work or class schedule a consideration?
yes
7) Does last-minute planning figure into your friendships, either out of necessity or just because that’s the way you prefer it?
plan ahead or last minute its all good

Part 2 of 5: Boundaries, expectations and values

1) What are your thoughts on butch/femme friendships?
i think they can work, the hard part is often times my butch freindsh will get in relationships and then i wont see or hear from them for awhile, its ok though because i know they are still there and they know i value my friendships
2) If your partner didn’t like someone, would you still be friends with that person?
yes because my partner (if i had one)) would be the kind that understood they do not get to dictate whom my friends are or are not, this is up to me and me only, i would show my partner same respect
3) Describe a time someone cut you off as a friend.
when my friend had a psychotic episode she cut me off and out of her life...i really didn't understand it, she didn't want me to see her go through that.
4) Describe a time you cut someone off as a friend.
when i learned i was only being used for what i could do "for them"
5) How would you respond, if you realized a friend had a substance abuse problem?
I would distance my self
6) How would you respond, if your friend were in an abusive relationship?
tell hym/her get out and if they couldnt just be there for them be a support person
7) If you began to have romantic feelings about your (partnered) friend, what would you do?
walk away....this would not be healthy for either it crosses too many bioundaries
8) If you began to have romantic feelings about your (single) friend, what would you do?
knowing me...i would keep my mouth shut no matter how interested i am

9) If your friend had what you considered an annoying, albeit harmless habit, would you tell her?
yes

10) Describe a time that you “outgrew” a friend, if applicable.

11) How many years have you known your oldest friend? How have you managed to stay friends, over time?
27 years and counting

12) Do you have any friends who are exes? What’s your philosophy about that?
i do my best in this area

13) How do you feel about “friends with benefits”?
it doesnt work...at least not for me

14) How do your expectations of a friend differ from your expectations of a romantic partner?
i would want my romantic partner to spoon me at night...i do nto expect this from friends...a romantic partner is also a friend

15) Describe a time when you really came through for a friend.
My freind J...was diagnosed with breast cancer, she had no one to drive her to see her boys, so i did...then i took her and her boys to the tat shop they got matching tats and i sat through it all, i was able to give her a weekend with her boys she might not have had otherwise...i would do it again and again

16) Describe a time a friend really came through for you.
i have had the pleasure of multiple people coming through for me...sometimes..the most recent a phone call in the middle of my tears and she had no idea her timing was perfect.

17) What are a few deal breakers that would stop you being friends with someone?
finding out im being used....someone saying nasty things about me, abusing the friendships etc..

18) What are the kinds of characters flaws you can overlook in a friend?
it is not up to me to judge character flaws...sometimes character flaws is what makes a person unique so they aren't flaws at all

Part 3 of 5: How important is it to you that:

1) …your friend’s age is fairly close to yours?
not at all important, i have a great many friends 20 years older than i

2) …your friend’s educational level is similar to yours?
everyone has a different education therefore this does not matter

3) …your friend’s economic situation is similar to yours?
again this is of no importance as to how a freindship is built or sustained

4) …your friend’s religious beliefs are similar to yours?
not at all

5) …your friend’s class background is similar to yours?
nope we all come from different degrees of so called classes

6) …your friend’s gender identity or sexual preference is similar to yours?
not an issue

7) …your small or adult children like your friends?
it is up to me to like my friends, not my children

8) …your friends like to include your children, when you hang out together?
not important factor...sometimes we do sometimes we do not

Part 4 of 5: Which of the following shared activities with a friend appeal to you?

1) Attending singles events and supporting each other as you scan the environment for someone to flirt with, etc.
that would be fun lol

2) Exercising; outdoors or indoors
i would love this

3) Watching movies or videos; at home or in a theater
i do this now with friends...

4) Playing video or electronic games; at home or somewhere else
pinball!!!! racing....would be a blast

5) Attending sports events or watching sports on TV
yep i do this

6) Participating in team sports
I do this as well

7) Attending cultural events (museums, concerts, readings, etc.)
I enjoy these events as well

8) Shopping
i despise shopping i am not a good friend to do this with however i try....and i make attempts now...and im planning a shopping trip with someone

9) Cooking, or eating in restaurants
yep love this too

10) Visiting wildlife centers, going to a county fair, hanging out to watch the dog run in an urban area, bird watching—anything that involves animals
I have friends i do this with as well
11) Other
For the above 10 questions, i have many friends in life that i can do all the above with not one person has to match all of this...different friends meet different needs...the best of the best are the ones i can call up and say hey i just need an ear...they know who they are...and they know that when they need an ear im there for them.

Part 5 of 5: What important things has this survey left out?
I liked this survey....Friendships are unique in and of themselves...as no two friendships are exactly the same...they are like fingerprints.

I also like that a femme created it...