[princessbelle]

This is really a complex situation when dating someone with kids. There are so many, many variables that play into it. No doubt we all want what is best for our kids and our prospective partners and it can get quite sticky from what i've read here and seen with my own eyes and ears.

I can only say that i am very happy that the way i approached the matter, when my kids were young, and i believe it was the right decision.

When my kids were 14 and 17, i met a woman in New Mexico that i was very fond of. She visited me several times, however, i did not let her stay at my house. I, in my mind, was protecting them from what may not continue and didn't want to disrupt their lives into my perhaps short term relationship. She got a hotel room each time. I spent a lot of time with her but did not neglect my kids and was home every night. She was not invited to my home...right away.

Several visits back and forth happened before i was convinced that the attraction was one that was going to most likely last. That was my first step. I then introduced my kids to her. They all really liked each other and this was the second part of my journey, making sure they all got along. Kids are not dumb. If they see red flags it's good to listen to them. After a year of dating back and forth i invited her to live with me.

That relationship lasted 10 years. I do feel i did it correctly for *me* and *my* family. I would not have ever considered anything sooner than that length of time when my kids were younger. But, that's just me. IMO no one will ever love our kids like we do. So, there is the "it can get sticky part".

Now that my kids are grown, it is really just my personal preference, however, they are never too quiet about giving me their blessing or voice of concern. And it's one i definitely still listen to.

Really to each his/hys/her own. But it is most important that our children's well being come way before any feelings of love.

I'm sure we can all agree on that.