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Old 06-10-2012, 05:52 AM   #54
Ginger
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Default larus's Friendship Survey

laruss wrote:


2) If your partner didn’t like someone, would you still be friends with that person?

I definitely would, but I would work on the why's of the dislike. Jealousy doesn't fly with me so that wouldn't be acceptable from my partner, but if they had a valid reason to dislike I would examine my friendship. But I have learned a valuable lesson... If most of your friends don't like your partner, you should reexamine your relationship with your partner. I have many close friends and I value their opinion immensely.

I agree about the jealousy part, and actually I wasn't even thinking of jealousy when I wrote that question; so many people have brought it up though, realize it's a common experience for lovers to be jealous of their partner's friend/s. I remember now a gay man I was very tight with, in the nineties. He was an academic and I'm a writer so we had friends in common and often saw the world the same way. We also shared a sense of humor, and watched Kids in the Hall reruns together, and would spend weekends together at my house upstate where he would paint till 4 in the morning and I would write and we would talk nonstop. My lover, a corporate lawyer, and I didn't have the same rapport in the same ways, though we had it in others, and she was very jealous of him. She wasn't nice to him. Eventually I lost him as a friend, and that was a contributing factor. I'd forgotten about that till I read your post for some reason.

3) Describe a time someone cut you off as a friend.
I can't really think of a time someone cut me off, but I have had many friendships run their course. I strongly believe that people are brought into your life for a reason and they will leave when that purpose is fulfilled. I may miss them, but I understand. Life is ever evolving.

I wish I were as philosophical about you at losing a friend. I just tend to be sad and bitter

4) Describe a time you cut someone off as a friend.
I had a friend through high school and when I got married and had kids she was going through a heavy partying phase that didn't mesh with my young family. I wrote her a letter explaining we were at different places in our lives and I needed to be there for my family. 5 years later we ran into each other and this September celebrate 30 years as friends. She is like a sister to me.

What's cool is that she understood, and didn't hold it against you, when you needed space away from her. She does sound like a very good friend, a real keeper!

I enjoyed reading your responses.
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