[Nat]

I remember a party at my dad's and step-mom's. I was the only kid at the party, and although I haven't been able to smell irises as an adult, as a kid I was able to. That night, the air was full of the smell of irises in the night. I was the only kid, and the adults were beautiful and wild and cavalier. Colored lights were strung across the yard, and a hippie guy with a guitar sang music while we sat and lay in the grass. There was a drunk man trying to hoola-hoop, and a huge bag of chips with salsa. The smells of pot and cigarettes and incense mingled with that iris-smell. It was magical and it went late into the night. I was probably 6 or 7. It was low-key and warm, and I was free. The air was just warm enough and moist. A pretty woman was sitting next to me in the grass with long dark hair and big brown eyes. I remember asking her, as the night wore on and the laughter and singing got louder: "what if we are bothering the neighbors?" And she laughed and said, "They are free to come and enjoy the party instead of being bothered."

At home at my mom's, our neighbors had parties. Loud parties. I remember yelling from my window into their crowded driveway, "I NEED TO GO TO SLEEP! I HAVE TO WAKE UP IN THE MORNING!" To which they laughed.

I grew up in two worlds.