[nycfem]

50 Questions

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?

I find them all equally annoying. I'll tell you about the specific bill I hated paying the most. Many years ago, I was at a craft / paper store, Kate's Paperie. I picked out a gift for a special new lover. I picked out wrapping paper to buy from the store and had it wrapped with the new wrapping paper for free. Then when I was given the bill I was astounded to see that somehow I had picked wrapping paper (just the paper itself!) that cost 100 dollar! Whoever heard of such a thing. Apparently it had gold woven into it. I should have looked at the price tag ahead but I didn't think wrapping paper ever reached triple digits. As you can see, I still stew over that. The nerve!

2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?

At home. I ordered in spicy vegetarian Indian last night while everyone else was out. I watched stupid t.v. shows. A date with oneself can be quite romantic.

3. Do you regret losing your virginity to who you lost it to?

No, I lost it to a butch in a tank top that read "At your service." What's to regret about that? Then, speaking of romance, she left a serious message later on my answering machine of herself singing "Into you like a train." The friend who was my roommate at the time and I still laugh about the surprise of hearing that heartfelt singing on our otherwise boring answering machine.

4. If you could go back and change one thing what would it be?

Picking out that wrapping paper. See Question #1.

5. Name of your favorite teacher?

BB, my husbutch. She has taught me so much without her even knowing it. Among many things, she taught me that there is no reason to live or work in a place that does not make me happy. In my family I had always been taught that I was lucky to have what I got and to do anything to hang onto it. The change in perspectives has been liberating.

6. What do you really want to be doing right now?

Surveys are like crack. I'm quite pleased with what I'm doing right now.

7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?

My brother and I had a running half-joking idea that we wanted to have a pie stand on the side of a forlorn highway.

8. How many colleges did you attend?

One in Ohio, and graduate school in New York.

9. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?

It can be worn to bed or out in public. That's my favorite characteristic in a piece of clothing.

10. What are your thoughts on gas prices?

I don't have a car, but did I mention that I'm providing a deluxe basket of fart gags for the Reunion raffle this year?

11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you where would it be?

I'd pick out someone I was holding a grudge against and we'd move back to where I grew up.

12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?

There was no alarm, just people talking (Rude!).

13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?

I was listening to the memoir "Borderlines" on CD with headphones to avoid having a last thought.


14. Favorite style of underwear?

Polka dots and lace.


16. What errand/chore do you despise?

In college, I started a business cleaning up vomit from drunken parties. What was I thinking?

17. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer?

I think I'd just sit here filling out these surveys all day.

18. Get up early or sleep in?

I love to sleep in.

19. What is your favorite cartoon character?

Emily the Strange.

20. Favorite thing to do at night with a partner?

Read in bed and laugh together.

21. Have you found real love yet?

I've found real love with BB. I've never been happier. It gets better every year and it's been seven years.

22. When did you first start feeling old?

I have age dysmorphic disorder. I still think I'm much younger. I like to play with markers and stickers and I'm still attached to Hello Kitty.

23. Favorite 80's movie?

Class of 1984.

24. Your favorite lunch item?

I've been going through a celery phase.


25. What do you get every time you go to the store?

Too much fresh food (fruit / veggies) that I can't finish using.

26. Beach or lake?

Beach!

27. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?

As long as we are going to have it, I'm in the mood for Federal rights.

28. Coolest thing you own?

I have three giant Bratz dolls on my mantle. They are wearing underwear and combat boots and leather jackets and have thick thighs and baby bottles hanging around their necks.

30. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about?

- ---- -- -------- ----- (Hint: Fassbinder directed)

31. What's your drink?

Water! If it's a birthday party, I'm a fan of Hawaiian Punch or Welches Grape Soda.

32. What do you think of Wikileaks?

Anything subversive is alright by me.

33. One country you never want to go to?

I read in the book "The Geography of Bliss: One Grump's Search for the Happiest Place on Earth" by Eric Weiner, that Moldova is the country where people are unhappiest. But that kind of makes me want to go there!

34. Who from high school would you like to run in to?

I've gone running out of stores or restaurants in Ohio if I see someone from high school is there! What kind of question is that?

35. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?

Please don't make assumptions that I have a car.

36. Is it better to give or to receive?

It depends on what it is. It's better to give blow jobs. It's better to receive pizza. It's better to give headaches. It's better to receive movie tickets. Etc. Etc.

37. Bath or Shower?

I always prefer a bath and must have a book to read while in it.

38. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?

It's easier to talk about other people's mistakes. Once while serving as the wrangler for a butch femme email list, BB accidentally sent a very personal email meant for just me to the list! It was juicy for everyone else but highly embarrassing for us!

39. Do you like the person who sits directly across from you at work?

If someone sat across from me at work, I would find another job.

40. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?

I like to stay away from famous people I admire. Encounters can ruin the fantasy.

41. Indoors or Outdoors?

Indoors for surveys, and outdoors for sex.

42. Have you ever crashed your vehicle?

When I was young, but now no car for me. As Woody Allen says, "I have a license but too much aggression."

43. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its actual purpose?

That's too personal a question to answer.


44. Last book you read for real?

I'm always reading books for real, thank you, usually several at a time. The book I read most recently that I recommend is "I'm Down," a heart-breaking, humorous, thought-provoking memoir by Mishna Wolff.

45. Something you've kept from childhood?

My love of bagels.

46. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?

Once I had a friendship with a woman at college, and we were brushing our teeth together in the dorm. We were making each other laugh by brushing in an exaggerated way, like too long, with foam dripping down our faces. I had a crush on her and was really trying to show off by going the extra mile. Unfortunately as I plunged away, making her laugh harder and harder, I suddenly gagged and began to throw up a little. Needless to say we remained friends only.

47. Somewhere you've never been and would like to go?

Tokyo!


48. Do you go to church?

BB and I go to an LGBT synagogue but not regularly.

49. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or relationship?

I'm happy with both my current career and relationship right now. If pushed, though, I'd have to go with a new career, something that involves winning the lottery and never setting an alarm clock again.

50. Just how OLD are you?

I'll be 40 in November. I'm excited because it's a "decade" birthday which means higher quality gifts!