Quote:
Originally Posted by LittleShug
Not rambling, purging...go ahead, get it out of you. This is your thread for this purpose remember? If you can't ramble here, where can you?
I am glad this poem felt good for you. The first time I read it, I didn't think it meant ME too. I thought, this is for everyone else...Did you ever see (and who hasn't?) My big fat greek wedding--the part where she's a kid, walking silently around the table of pretty girls, and wanted to be as invisible as possible? That was me. I could soooo relate to her. Wanting to be invisible and allowing others to make me stay in a "lesser" role or mode...I had to learn to choose that positive words spoken to me were really for me. It took me sooo many years to learn how to accept a compliment, I just couldn't believe they meant them for me. I was somewhat intelligent but I let others make me feel stupid. Until I found that one perfect source that assured me that I was competent, valuable, special and even beautiful. I know I may not be beautiful to everyone...but I feel beautiful most days from the inside out...because I have been healed...and I didn't think it would ever happen but it did, praise God...
Abuse, gone
Anger, mostly gone...
Pain, mostly gone
Depression, mostly gone
Self worth, intact
Self esteem, intact
Competence level, average or above
Love, perfectly perfect
I have issues, problems, conflict sure...but I can't hold onto the past anymore, it just takes so much out of me and I don't want to carry any of that around anymore...it weighs heavily on my back...so I gave it to HIM.
I finally believed and accepted God's love for me.
I don't know how you feel about spirituality, I only know what works for me...
I pray you find what works for you soon too...and if sharing this poem or something else gives you a little lift then amen, I've done what I think I'm supposed to do. Be here for you and everyone who needs me--a friend.
Now I'm rambling...sharing.
|
Vent! I like that
My parents were Southern Baptist Missionaries, so I have issues with religion and God as a celestial dude...but I am working through this and finding my own type of spirituality I can handle.
I went to 14 different schools from kindergartden to 12th grade....yes I have spent a lot of time wanting to be invisible. I pretend I am a lot of the time.
I had a horrible time learning to take a compliment until my Mamaw told me to always just say "thank you" that it was good manners and thats what matters. But I don't always believe the compliments and good manners are not all that matters.
Thank you so much for sharing and being here for us!
Quote:
Originally Posted by AtLastHome
Just stopping in to give a warm virtual Hello to all. Hearing about everyone's trials with PTSD has been on my mind continually the past couple of days. This is a good thing because it is connecting me more with just how powerful a thread like this is with people like you can be. I was off on a hike today with my dog and thought about people here and where I have come and gone and will end up and did a little Chant-Whoop for you all as I sat near a quiet bay inlet, resting. Thought it was one way to lend support, or at least a way for me to try to. You all just plain matter!
|
The outdoors and our dogs and cats give me peace too!
Tha k you so much for being here, sharing and telling us we matter!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Princess4u
I know!! I know!!! I hear from here mostly..how I am not alone...but it wasnt until I read both of these posts from Shug and "A"...that it now is starting to hit home.....omg....it was like you read my thoughts, but yet they are your own thoughts....could it be....could it really be that we all share that common thread of unworthiness and invisiblness....you are so right....i always looked and the pretty girls and never thought I could be like them...and still do to this very day.....I joke w my friends about just living vicariously thru them....bc I know i will never be worthy enough, pretty enough. good enough, "clean" enough...for anything else..or for anyone to want me....they laugh....and then i ask them...."what's it like to know________?" thank you for your posts....i know now that you really do know where I am at....and I know where you are at and/or have been....much love and peace....
|
Yes, yes and Yes! Especially clean enough.
We really do share many of the same thoughts.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amelia
Andrew aka my thread mate in the abuse threads all over!
OMG you see? There is a majority of us who feel like your post here. Maybe a lot are Too embarrassed to really express it as bravely and strait forward as you did. Sometimes you voice things for some people who CANNOT.
THAT is what makes us love you so much. You have never failed to be at our sides when we have needed someone. I hope you trust me here and believe me when I say that you ARE THE CLIQUE. We have travelled these roads, some of us, for sooo many years now... over three sites and we have always been there for each other in the face of exclusion feelings. IF like 99% of us posting in support and abuse threads feel similar to you w this issue.... if 99% of us are looking at each other thinking it is "me" that "they" dont want around...
Well see that proves we the majority ARE the actual "CLIQUE" if there was one. I dont care or want to know at this point. I dont think the one or two that are hurtful to you should be given the "status" of being the cool crowd if you really feel shunned by them... Majority rules and I am always going to be here for you my friend. No matter what site I talk to you on. Our support doesn't end no matter what IS or ISN'T going on behind anyone back. I hope you understand me here friend.
I truly believe no ill intent was meant towards you. Pm me and we can compare my notes. But I dont blame you for thinking it.... from what I hear most of us thought "it's me".
*BIG HUGS!!!
Dfly
|
I thought "it's me".
Really until I read the thread this morning!
and now I know that we all feel the same way.
So glad the thread is back on track!