Quote:
Originally Posted by JAGG
Absolutely!
How are you enjoying your life right now? Share what that involves.
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despite several external invitations (and one or two internal ones as well) to feel contrariwise about things, i'm enjoying a moment of awareness that is lush in a personal way. i'm getting to know myself again and it's like meeting someone you've read about and know through that reading but have never met. confusing circumstances followed by tragedy convinced me to live without certain parts of myself for a while (no one to blame but myself) and i turned into someone i didnt know and later discovered that i
really didnt like. G*d offered me the chance to perform a mitzvah and accepting that opportunity somehow begat this trip which has been better for me than any therapy or confidante has ever been (all respect to the confidants in my life). i'm alone more often than i am with people and when i'm with people they are never people who know me with one exception of an old friend that i'm touching base with right now. no one has any expectation of who i am and in some ways i dont have any expectations either. i can meet each moment with slow awareness and honesty and i am not afraid to be either whereas i was always sort of holding back in my previous lives for fear of rocking boats or losing my footing. now i think that lost footing and boats that rock are myths we scare ourselves with because it's easier to be afraid than to take risks. now every time i find myself beginning to step back from a healthy risk i find myself saying "really?
that's who you are?
that's who you want to be in the world?" i'm enjoying the risk of knowing myself fully and being thrilled or disappointed or confused or whatever i am in that moment and not worrying about anything but how
i feel about those things and what they mean to
me rather than what they mean to anyone else.
what real circumstances in your life scare you the most?