Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post - Breaking it down

Bleu · 07-12-2012, 01:59 PM

[QUOTE=aishah;610930]i am deeply moved by this thread and also terrified to post in here.
QUOTE]

Dear Aisha,
Like you I am moved by this thread and I too am terified to post here. Also, we have the inability to bear children in common and that, plus so much else you revealed endeared me to you. I am greateful for your strength and I harness it now to find courage. I will stand by your side and make my femmeness known. Here goes...

Femme I Am

I will begin by stating that I am a femme who loves butches, all kinds of butches from one end of the butch spectrum to the other. I admire them all from ultra-soft butches who live on the parenthetic smudge of the eye-liner lined femme realm to FtM trans guys who have punched their fists though societal confines and gone under blades to transform into who they are. I am wholly and completely a lover of all things butch. I am unashamed to walk in public, arm-in-arm with a butch. I am unashamed of my pure delight in their strength and wide-lensed, earthy wisdom. I love the tales their eyes tell. I love their pheromone-filled smell. I love their broad, solid presence. But, when I consider the femme I am, I am not just considering myself in relation to my butch counterparts. I am not just considering my desires, I am not just thinking about sexuality, I am not just pondering play, romance, sex, fucking or even love. Certainly physicality is a part of it and the social aspects of who I am are an integral part of what makes me…me. That thick layer, while creamy, rich and exciting, is just that: a layer. It is not the whole of the femme I am.

When I consider the femme I am, I take into account the many threads of me that have woven the fabric of my being with a tensile strength beyond my wildest dreams. To weave that fabric for you here, I would have to include my spirituality, my sense of right and wrong, my belief in freedom and rights, my ethics, my fiercely protective maternal instinct, my pride, my trepidations and the pieced-together heart that beats strongly in my chest, despite many years of crazing.

I was completely unable to bear children, yet there is an immense maternal instinct that forever burns within me and has molded a framework that houses all the parts of me. That framework is what I reflect my whole person through. The person who I strongly believe God intended me to be, who placed me on this earth to work through me. I am not a perfect person, but I cannot help but be exactly who I am. I am that which is perfect for my place in this world. And, I would pose: who is anyone to question that perfect authority that placed me here? Or that placed any one of us here…and whether or not you agree with my beliefs - that is not my point. My point is what I find helps me be exactly the femme I am is that I must take time to examine, to grow, to seek, to trust, and find community that can only help me in those endeavors of examining, growing seeking and trusting.

I hesitated for a moment in sharing this next story, but I felt it was a clear example of the wisdom BfP community has to offer me in so short a time. And, I hope, I it. I was recently in a conversation where I laughed at something someone said. This person is of our culture. I laughed out of joy as he revealed an intimacy to me that was tender in nature. As you may imagine my laughter hurt his feelings. I was mortified. I immediately apologized and explained that my laughter and lightness about that which he had said were due to the brilliance of what he said. And, my joy was not just so much about what he’d said but how he revealed it to me. I viewed what he had confided as a beautiful and sweet detail of his soul and psyche that I felt would make not only a wonderful piece to write about but a wonderful piece to share with others as a tool of cultural commonality. But, even if he never wanted to share what he had shared with me, with anyone else, I could not help my joy and laughter as my heart rejoiced in how similar his comments had, in my eyes, revealed us to be. I was elated that I found someone with whom I could relate on such a complex and deeply-felt topic. I tell this story, not because I am proud of what happened, but that I learned a little more about compassion through him. I was pure in intention but intention is not always what necessarily matters. In this culture of ours, I learn a great deal each and every day with each and every interaction I have.

I cannot begin to describe how much I rejoice in reading this Planet’s inhabitants’ stories and experiences, especially when something similar has happened to me. Even when the precise situation or experience was not exact to something I have experienced, I often find it easy to relate to because of our common culture, circumstance or the worldly reaction so many of us have to cope with.

Because I am continually growing and learning, with each passing moment of each day, I may not be able to wrestle down the kind of femme I am. Certainly not as eloquently as the glowing souls on this thread have, but there are a few things I do know: I am here. I am femme. And, all the messy details that led me to be the femme I am today are simply experiences and circumstances that are most likely not wholly unlike yours, you…who are reading this.

To all my beautiful, strong, sweet femme sisters, I read about you, your souls shine though your experiences. I find your tales delicious with an unmistakable kindred flavor. I am happy to taste and devour them every day. Through this connection, albeit via an enormous intangible technology, I rejoice in it and therefore you live in me. And I hope that somehow I too live in you. If I know nothing else, I know that I am femme.

Femme I am.

07-12-2012, 01:59 PM	#163
Bleu Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Bleu Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: @ home Posts: 2,771 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,565 Thanked 2,699 Times in 733 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Femme I Am [QUOTE=aishah;610930]i am deeply moved by this thread and also terrified to post in here. QUOTE] Dear Aisha, Like you I am moved by this thread and I too am terified to post here. Also, we have the inability to bear children in common and that, plus so much else you revealed endeared me to you. I am greateful for your strength and I harness it now to find courage. I will stand by your side and make my femmeness known. Here goes... Femme I Am I will begin by stating that I am a femme who loves butches, all kinds of butches from one end of the butch spectrum to the other. I admire them all from ultra-soft butches who live on the parenthetic smudge of the eye-liner lined femme realm to FtM trans guys who have punched their fists though societal confines and gone under blades to transform into who they are. I am wholly and completely a lover of all things butch. I am unashamed to walk in public, arm-in-arm with a butch. I am unashamed of my pure delight in their strength and wide-lensed, earthy wisdom. I love the tales their eyes tell. I love their pheromone-filled smell. I love their broad, solid presence. But, when I consider the femme I am, I am not just considering myself in relation to my butch counterparts. I am not just considering my desires, I am not just thinking about sexuality, I am not just pondering play, romance, sex, fucking or even love. Certainly physicality is a part of it and the social aspects of who I am are an integral part of what makes me…me. That thick layer, while creamy, rich and exciting, is just that: a layer. It is not the whole of the femme I am. When I consider the femme I am, I take into account the many threads of me that have woven the fabric of my being with a tensile strength beyond my wildest dreams. To weave that fabric for you here, I would have to include my spirituality, my sense of right and wrong, my belief in freedom and rights, my ethics, my fiercely protective maternal instinct, my pride, my trepidations and the pieced-together heart that beats strongly in my chest, despite many years of crazing. I was completely unable to bear children, yet there is an immense maternal instinct that forever burns within me and has molded a framework that houses all the parts of me. That framework is what I reflect my whole person through. The person who I strongly believe God intended me to be, who placed me on this earth to work through me. I am not a perfect person, but I cannot help but be exactly who I am. I am that which is perfect for my place in this world. And, I would pose: who is anyone to question that perfect authority that placed me here? Or that placed any one of us here…and whether or not you agree with my beliefs - that is not my point. My point is what I find helps me be exactly the femme I am is that I must take time to examine, to grow, to seek, to trust, and find community that can only help me in those endeavors of examining, growing seeking and trusting. I hesitated for a moment in sharing this next story, but I felt it was a clear example of the wisdom BfP community has to offer me in so short a time. And, I hope, I it. I was recently in a conversation where I laughed at something someone said. This person is of our culture. I laughed out of joy as he revealed an intimacy to me that was tender in nature. As you may imagine my laughter hurt his feelings. I was mortified. I immediately apologized and explained that my laughter and lightness about that which he had said were due to the brilliance of what he said. And, my joy was not just so much about what he’d said but how he revealed it to me. I viewed what he had confided as a beautiful and sweet detail of his soul and psyche that I felt would make not only a wonderful piece to write about but a wonderful piece to share with others as a tool of cultural commonality. But, even if he never wanted to share what he had shared with me, with anyone else, I could not help my joy and laughter as my heart rejoiced in how similar his comments had, in my eyes, revealed us to be. I was elated that I found someone with whom I could relate on such a complex and deeply-felt topic. I tell this story, not because I am proud of what happened, but that I learned a little more about compassion through him. I was pure in intention but intention is not always what necessarily matters. In this culture of ours, I learn a great deal each and every day with each and every interaction I have. I cannot begin to describe how much I rejoice in reading this Planet’s inhabitants’ stories and experiences, especially when something similar has happened to me. Even when the precise situation or experience was not exact to something I have experienced, I often find it easy to relate to because of our common culture, circumstance or the worldly reaction so many of us have to cope with. Because I am continually growing and learning, with each passing moment of each day, I may not be able to wrestle down the kind of femme I am. Certainly not as eloquently as the glowing souls on this thread have, but there are a few things I do know: I am here. I am femme. And, all the messy details that led me to be the femme I am today are simply experiences and circumstances that are most likely not wholly unlike yours, you…who are reading this. To all my beautiful, strong, sweet femme sisters, I read about you, your souls shine though your experiences. I find your tales delicious with an unmistakable kindred flavor. I am happy to taste and devour them every day. Through this connection, albeit via an enormous intangible technology, I rejoice in it and therefore you live in me. And I hope that somehow I too live in you. If I know nothing else, I know that I am femme. Femme I am.