[Bit]

Ahhh, my darlin,

What is love? Sometimes I wonder if it could be possible to love each other any more than we already do, and then I see you shoulder the burdens and go off once more to spend your time at a job that pays the bills, and I wonder how I could possibly ever love you enough to make up for that.

It's the economy, I know it's the economy which has made your job so difficult, made finding a comparable job so difficult. I think there must be people all over Wichita staying in their jobs as you stay in yours, waiting for the economy to get better... and unless they move on first, where would there be for you to move on to?

It's already dragged on so long, years already as things inch along, and yet still you persevere, giving your time and energy to a place which doesn't deserve you so that you can take care of us. Thank you. I know it isn't easy. I'm holding on to hope that it can get better, that this stuck economy can come back to life a little faster than it has been, that other things can fill the gap.

I listen to you talking to the dog as you walk him, and I wonder how I ever deserved someone so wonderful. He's driving me to the edge of distraction with those temper tantrums; even when I try to stay on an even keel, I'm frazzled by the time you get home. Yet no matter how difficult your day was, no matter annoyed you get at him, you still treat him gently, speak to him as if he were an angel. I cherish that about you. I wish I were able to keep the annoyance out of my voice as well as you do.

I used to be so unrealistic. My younger self, so sentimentally romantic, thought love was all about grand gestures and sweeping someone off her feet. What did I know? I read romance novels and thought they had to be right, since it was clear I wasn't seeing "Love" in any of the marriages around me. But I was wrong. Romantic gestures are only the surface of love; they aren't what sustains a marriage through the long haul.

Real love, deep love, is what sends a person out into the world day after day to do a job that means little to him, so that his family can be sheltered and fed. Real love, deep love, is what you give me.

I can only try to be worthy of it, and to return it.

I remain, as always,
Yours