Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post

Runner · 07-19-2012, 01:56 PM

In my relationships whether it is partner, friends or family empathy is something that I consider important. I think most people do. Anyone who really cares about anyone is most likely to be quite tuned into how their loved ones are feeling but it probably varies from person to person quite how tuned in they are and if they are able to recognise when something may be on their mind even when it's not obvious.

Some people are talkers, they discuss issues they have on a regular basis and don't pretend everything is ok when it's not - when they have something on their mind they need to discuss it with people they trust, that's probably healthy right?

I trust my own instinct more than anyone, I'm not saying that this is the right way to go but I generally mull things over in my mind and make a decision. Sometimes I put it out for discussion to people I consider closest but very very rarely. My thinking on this is that I'm logical, without trying to sound arrogant I trust my own opinion and I don't want to worry people when I don't need to and it's dealt with. It's genuinely worked for me all of my life. I've dealt with any problems I've had emotional, financial etc. and I have to say I'm generally happy with my life, there's nothing in the last few years in my personal life that I can honestly say have phased me or caused me sleepless nights.

My family on the other had is very different. Amongst other things my sister has been going through a messy divorce for the past 3 years. I can tell within 10 seconds on the phone how she is feeling and feel sick to my stomach with worry. We are constantly in contact, very close and she relies on me for advice that I give as best I can but not sure it's always right. At the same time my brother is going through the aftermath of the same with teenage children who are not dealing with it very well and my mother who is in her 70s needs support by discussing aspects of that which she hears from my brother.

You know with the credit crunch and all I've been lucky enough to hold onto my job and generally I'm happy with my lot although it's not perfect I appreciate I'm luckier than most and I'm happy with my lot.

I'm sorry it took this long to get to the crux of the thread but I suppose my question is - empathy is a great thing but can you have too much? People genuinely sometimes cannot read someone but even as a child I've always been very aware of how anyone close to me is feeling.

At this point I feel that my own life nearly becomes obsolete.

Am I selfish to say that I I feel overwhelmed sometimes?

07-19-2012, 01:56 PM	#1
Runner Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: Ireland Posts: 46 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 60 Thanked 158 Times in 38 Posts Rep Power: 1834068	Empathy In my relationships whether it is partner, friends or family empathy is something that I consider important. I think most people do. Anyone who really cares about anyone is most likely to be quite tuned into how their loved ones are feeling but it probably varies from person to person quite how tuned in they are and if they are able to recognise when something may be on their mind even when it's not obvious. Some people are talkers, they discuss issues they have on a regular basis and don't pretend everything is ok when it's not - when they have something on their mind they need to discuss it with people they trust, that's probably healthy right? I trust my own instinct more than anyone, I'm not saying that this is the right way to go but I generally mull things over in my mind and make a decision. Sometimes I put it out for discussion to people I consider closest but very very rarely. My thinking on this is that I'm logical, without trying to sound arrogant I trust my own opinion and I don't want to worry people when I don't need to and it's dealt with. It's genuinely worked for me all of my life. I've dealt with any problems I've had emotional, financial etc. and I have to say I'm generally happy with my life, there's nothing in the last few years in my personal life that I can honestly say have phased me or caused me sleepless nights. My family on the other had is very different. Amongst other things my sister has been going through a messy divorce for the past 3 years. I can tell within 10 seconds on the phone how she is feeling and feel sick to my stomach with worry. We are constantly in contact, very close and she relies on me for advice that I give as best I can but not sure it's always right. At the same time my brother is going through the aftermath of the same with teenage children who are not dealing with it very well and my mother who is in her 70s needs support by discussing aspects of that which she hears from my brother. You know with the credit crunch and all I've been lucky enough to hold onto my job and generally I'm happy with my lot although it's not perfect I appreciate I'm luckier than most and I'm happy with my lot. I'm sorry it took this long to get to the crux of the thread but I suppose my question is - empathy is a great thing but can you have too much? People genuinely sometimes cannot read someone but even as a child I've always been very aware of how anyone close to me is feeling. At this point I feel that my own life nearly becomes obsolete. Am I selfish to say that I I feel overwhelmed sometimes?