My first date with my current partner was in a Thai restaurant in the West Village. The food was awful, but I couldn't eat anyway; I was so excited to meet her, to see if she were real, the person who wrote the quietly thoughtful emails, who noticed things in my words and tone that others would have missed—a barely expressed hesitancy, a joy I was too shy to say outright.
I am usually the listener and seem to attract talkers, but she is also a listener, so it was good that we happened to pick a place that was quiet, where we drew each other out.
We were on our respective lunch hours, and sat by the front windows. It was December, very cold out, but the sun was warm, beating down on our table. It was so quiet you could hear our chop sticks, when we rested them on our plates. Afterwards, we walked to the subway and I impulsively hugged her.
That's all I ask for on a date, especially a first date: To be in a peaceful place, so we can focus on each other.
I don't want the heightened pressure of formality of a first date, I want to be in a casual setting that has some aesthetic appeal: sunlight, or gentle colors. This is even more important to me than the food.
Later, when we are feeling more of a bond, and our personalities have emerged more fully, I'm up for anything—a wild place, dancing, some kind of intense outdoor activity.
|