If I may tiptoe in...
I'm one of those late-blooming femmes that lived as straight until I was about 40. My time in this community is relatively short, and even in the last decade, my life has been more about getting an education, furthering my career and raising my son than it has been about relationships.
I have heard and seen ugliness towards transgendered people, both in and out of this community...and for me it is both disgusting and heartbreaking that anyone would feel so free to harshly judge someone simply because they are different. For me, transphobia is the absolute equivalent of racism...and just as fundamentally wrong.
When I first joined this site, I was confused (and questioned) why someone who identified and lived as male would want to be here. I believe it was Linus who posted something that resonated with me about this community being the equivalent of a home town that you love.....it may no longer be where you live exactly, but it's a part of your history and your heart that you treasure and cling to.
When I first started talking to Snack I was upfront with him that this was new to me...and that I had never been in a relationship with anyone who was trans. He understands this, thankfully, and has been both patient and generous with sharing his experiences, thoughts and feelings.
For me, he is a guy....my guy...and, in some ways, it's almost like a return to "straight" life as he is seen as male by most people. There are exceptions, but they are rare. Whether or not he medically transitions is immaterial to me. That is his very personal decision....and one I will suppport no matter which direction he chooses.
For me, physical anatomy is merely that....and whether someone has a vagina or not is about as important as how tall they are. It just doesn't matter. Who he is....his values, his character, his sense of humor, and how he lives his life....matters infinitely more.
If someone is shallow enough to judge based purely on the physical....I don't have time for them, no matter who they are or how they identify. I choose to live my life with those who have more depth than that.