things that are nice to have in a first date:
...let me know if you don't have money and want to do something inexpensive. i know what that's like. i never go on a date with someone unless i have a little bit of money - it's really nice if they pay, but i always make sure i can pay for myself in case they don't pay. i'm also used to doing inexpensive things...which leads me to...
...i prefer first dates with low pressure. meeting for coffee/tea is my favorite kind of first date.
...don't pressure me for physical contact. if we hit it off and there's chemistry, i might be open to touching/kissing. but touching/kissing/demanding i sit closer, etc. without consent makes me feel really unsafe unless we've been friends for awhile first.
...don't look at me weirdly if i ask you if i can hug/kiss you. it means i want to be close to you. take it as a compliment - and i won't be offended if you're not comfortable or want to say no.
...also don't look at me weirdly if i ask about how you identify or your pronouns - it just means i want to know who you are and be respectful instead of assuming things and possibly being wrong.
...i don't think it's necessary for you to open doors, bring me flowers, etc...but it's always appreciated
...it's nice to be around people who are considerate of my access needs...like, don't invite me to a place that has a huge ass flight of stairs. if you do that more than once we probably won't date for very long.
...it's also nice to be around people who think my quirkiness is cute
things i don't care about in a first date (or ever):
...how much money you have.
...what your car looks like.
...how expensive your clothes are - dressing nicely and having clean clothes is awesome (i'm a sucker for slacks or jeans and a button-down shirt). but i don't care if they came from goodwill, wal-mart, or a designer store.
things i really don't want in a first date:
...being asked out to places that are out of my way, or asked to go to multiple places - i don't drive and i take the bus. so, meeting me somewhere that's centrally located where i can get to independently of you is really awesome.
...it takes awhile for me to be comfortable riding in the car or being tipsy/drunk alone with someone, so don't assume i'll be okay with meeting somewhere out of the way or going to a bar at night with you - because i probably won't on a first date.
...hearing about your entire history with your ex.
...an excess of (or any) cologne. i'd rather smell you (preferably within 24 hours of a shower), not your old spice and calvin klein. and i'm allergic.
...sex. been there, done that, you're not getting any until i know you better. meaning 3-5 dates or so at least.