Thank you Parker for so eloquently saying what I often feel. And, I appreciate you relating this to sexism in our society.
It seems to me, we as women, have an easy time identifiying sexism as it relates to employment issues, salary issues, sexual harrassment and the like. We have a harder time seeing how our internalized sexism and misogyny affects how we see and treat other women. I suspect we also have a harder time seeing how this internatized stuff affects how we treat masculinity within this community.
In the same vein, internalized sexism and misogyny also affects our dating/mating rituals in ways that can be concerning. And, I am not referring to what happens in private between consenting adults. I am referring to what occurs in a public arena.
To me, there is no difference between a cis male publicly calling attention to his penis, wanting it worshipped, and enumerating on what he wishes to do with it, and someone in this community doing the same thing. To me, they are both examples of women being used as sex objects for sexual gratification and titillation.
Some people may like that, tho I am wondering if they like and/or are aware of what that attitude conveys. Women are not one dimensional beings. And one can easily appreciate all women are and flirt with them without being sexist about it.
Invisibility is an area we need to rethink. It seems to me, many of us, for different reasons, feel invisible to our own people. Yet rather than rally around "invisibility" as an issue for our community to grapple with, we get sidetracked by trying to decide who has the greater right to be pissy about it. The common demoninator here is "invisibility" not id's. Yet, there is a tendency to make people feel more invisible by not acknowledging what they are feeling and why they are feeling it.
Dee also raises an interesting point about how she wishes to be seen and how she chooses to partner. Makes sense to me and I applaud her independent thinking. And, I am sure, on the whole, it will be well received.
However, if I as a female butch say I will only date women who exclusively date other women because this reflects who I am and what I am all about, will it be received with the same respect?
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