I was wondering, do you have a fantasy about what a perfect wedding is, or what your perfect wedding would be?
It seems like your expectations (carrying your bride over the threshhold, having a "first dance" with a special song), are some of the choices traditional to a certain kind of wedding (emphasis on "certain"—of course, there are many kinds of weddings"!).
So I'm wondering what your models are, and if you've fantasized about your wedding since you were a little girl, as have many straight women.
I wonder if you would find useful, a new collection of essays called Here Come the Brides, edited by Michele Kort and Audrey Bilger. In it, women hash out some of these kinds of questions and look at the origins of their expectations of what a wedding "should" be.
For me, whatever the theme or tone, weddings are always very emotional, as people make a heartfelt promise to each other to be love and be there for each other.
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