Thank you Medusa for starting this thread and thank you Novelafemme for the great link. Love the image of a busty bevy of curvy femmes laughing, singing and tearing apart a pinata.
I came out in a gentle, accepting Nor Cali town that had 4 womyn's lands and a history of Back to the Land communities that started out with hippie hetero couples and women who then discovered they loved each other more than they loved their husbands. But no femmes.
My first GF was my one and only butch I've been with and I still ache for the sweet and tender way she looked at me and treated me. I am femme mostly because I love butch women so much, I love how they make me feel in body and soul.
I spent many years with men (by choice, I wanted black kids who knew and loved their father and being with men was the best way I could accomplish this) but when I saw a butch EMT lope towards me at work one day, the sight of her broke me of my habit of men. Why have serve a man hamburger when you can eat caviar off the bicep of a butch?
When I was single again, many men came forward to court me (I'm sure y'all know what I'm talking about). They were surprised when I said I was a lesbian, had been for years and that I was with men by choice. No man has said anything as narrow-minded as what the elder gentleman said to Novelafemme but they are puzzled. At one point I subscribed to the belief that wanting a butch woman and wanting a strapping butch woman was really wanting a man. But for me, men are a poor substitute for butch women. There's an emotional quality in butch women that I crave that men don't have. There is a huge difference between wanting a butch woman or even butch male ID person and wanting a bio-male. It's not about physical structures as much as it is about biology and energy.
The men who had come forward hoping to date me listened to my story and asked if it was because my ex broke my heart, or because I really didn't like men. I told them all the story of the butch EMT who broke me of my habit of men in full detail and they would often see the delight and change in my mannerisms and go 'Aha! She really, really likes butch women! I know she likes me as a friend but...she's lighting up at the thought of a woman's muscled arm, the golden hairs on her muscled arms and the twinkling of forearm muscles. I can't compete with that. She likes me as a friend but loves butch women'. They would 'get' what I meant. I wasn't rejecting the men by loving women. Usually once we get past that point, they realize it was never about men or how an individual male treated me. It was more about embracing the full beauty of a person and loving the beauty of butch women.
|