Quote:
Originally Posted by nycfembbw
Did you have anyone with whom you had meaningful contact while young (a teacher, a neighbor, a relative, a sitter, etc.) that may have fostered empathy in you? I have read that can be a saving grace for kids in homes where empathy is not there to be learned. My own mom was abused and dissociative/fractured, while my dad was abusive. I did have a sitter who made a huge difference to me. Now she is my mom's best friend (After my dad left my mom, unfortunately this was when I had already grown up, my mom became so much more stabilized.).
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Children are resilient. There's an old longitudinal study and book, Children of the Island State? that discusses this. The resilient kids had a mentor, a teacher, one person who showed compassion and strove to understand the kid where s/he was. In the study, they were the ones who overcame their abusive histories and excelled in life.
There are always exceptions to the rule, always a minority that will do the opposite.