It was!!
What finally got me to just take my dump and be unapologetic about it was that we started having this giggling conversation about how we had been friends for 5 years and had talked about shit in almost every conversation. Jackhammer was like, "What is wrong that we talked about it for 5 years and nobody wants to do it?"
I was like, "You first, honey!"
Needless to say, I was visiting her when the urge hit and I was like "It's now or never in my head". So I boldly stood up and announced, "I'M going to POOP!"
Jackhammer laughed at me and I was all proud of myself.
Off I trotted to the bathroom and boldly crapped with her sitting just down the hall in the living room.
I was so proud of myself!
Until I tried to flush the toilet.
I flushed and nothing went down.
I flushed again and some of it went down and stopped.
The toilet gurgled.
Water started coming up toward the top.
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I watched in HORROR as the toilet came within centimeters of overflowing and my "work" made stripes around the bowl.
I considered crawling out the window.
I ran water in the sink to try to make it sound normal.
I waited for the water to recede in the toilet enough that I felt safe flushing again.
I flushed.
Gurgle.
Nothing happened.
More water rose back up.
I realized at this point that I had plugged the toilet up.
Perhaps in my toilet paper zeal.
Perhaps because I had been holding it for 3 days.
I must have been in the bathroom for a long time because, next thing I know Jackhammer is in the hallway, mere feet from the door, asking if I'm ok.
"Uhhhhh.....", I said.
"Babe?", she said.
"Um. DON'T COME DOWN HERE!", I said.
"WHY?", she said.
"GET AWAY FROM THE DOOR, BABE!", I shriek.
"BABE! Tell me you are OK!", she said.
"I'm OK but I.......I need........"
"WHAT do you need?" she asks
"I NEED A FREAKING PLUNGER AND DON'T YOU SAY A FUCKING WORD!", I bark at her.
Needless to say, she bursts out laughing.
I burst out laughing.
And I am laughing so hard that when she says, "Come out of there and let me plunge it", that I literally fall back over the tub and almost rip the shower curtain down.
She wiggles the door handle at this point.
I am laughing and trying to yell at her to "GET. AWAY. FROM. THE. FUCKING. DOOR!" LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
I ended up sticking my hand through the door where she thrusts a plunger to me and I take care of the ordeal myself.
Yes, we laughed.
Yes, I was mortified.
Yes, it opened the floodgates for shitting because after that? I didn't give a fuck anymore. I mean, you can't really go back to being a secret shitter when you stop up the fucking toilet in your honeyboo's house.