[Apocalipstic]

One of the things that strikes me from these posts is how much we as Femmes do to make things more difficult for Butches. (or easy)

The expectations we have.

The differences regionally or geographically in what is expected of a Butch by Femmes and vice versa. To open the door or not open the door. Who get the good parking space? who takes out the trash? cooks? kills the bugs and so forth.

I also must say that I agree strongly with Wicked Femme about sexual positions not equating gender ID. The expectation that the Butch is always the Top and always Dominant is not a realistic one.

On the other hand, there are things I have expected from Butches, which I know are sexist...or very boy/girl. I am learning to appreciate rather than expect.

Form my standpoint it can be very different dating a Butch who sees themselves as a man and one who does not. We say the difference is in just a word, but it's not. I wonder as Femmes, how much of a guy we expect our Butches to be as opposed to how much of one they are?

There are things I see now in retrospect that I could have done better to be supportive of Butches I have dated...some who now have transitioned and some who have not. Things I should not have said, or worded differently.
Unrealistic expectations.....

Which is why threads like this are so important as a learning tool. Yes, Butches who never get on the internetz may not know of gender ID wars, but they do know how it is to navigate the world being different and how great it would be to have friends and allies who care enough to learn what is important to them as Butch. Like honoring their choice of name and gender ID and not just assuming they will know how we expect them to act.