Quote:
Originally Posted by stone4play
I'd kinda like to see how the partners of (whether femme or however one IDs) someone being assumed male feels about it and how do they react. Or is that for another thread/zone?
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my partner identifies as butch and male (he is trans). he lived as a butch woman for a long time before transitioning. now he doesn't pass and it is a huge problem for him that he is constantly misgendered - it's really upsetting to him.
i'm a pretty protective person and i have a lot of friends who are trans*, genderqueer, or who otherwise don't fit gender norms. i tend to be pretty assertive about other people respecting the ids and pronoun choices of all the people in my life (and sometimes that means having to be patient and explain or educate, which i don't like having to do but i will). that means if someone i am with doesn't id as male and is perceived as male, i would politely try to correct or remind the other person that they are or support the person i am with doing that, if they are comfortable addressing it. same with if the person i am with is perceived as female and doesn't id that way, or ids as something else altogether. i respect the choices of the person i am with too...i know it's not my "job" to swoop in and save anyone - but i also know that for a lot of my friends it's helpful to have allies who will step in and correct people or say that's not okay, so they don't always have to be the ones doing it.
i'm the same way with my partner. i will correct people and confront them if they try to start any shit about it, although i try to respect that he worries about my safety and doesn't want to put me in a situation where that might lead to things being unsafe.