I get it now, so you are in a heteronormative/straight relationship, therefore you being butch=male and she being femme=female.
So since you are butch=male you went with the whole ask for her hand in marriage etc etc.
I get it.
I thought I'd share a thread Mrs Arcstriker started for couples such as yourselves here is the link
CLICK ME
You'd probably get more traditional advice from them than most of us.
Good luck on your nuptials!!