My husband was always attracted to women and so identified himself as a lesbian for most of his emerging sexuality. Yet he never really identified with the gay community, never really felt like a lesbian and found most of his girlfriends were 'queer' rather than gay. It eventually made sense to him when one of his many gf's introduced him to the concept of 'Trans'. From then he transitioned immediately, being lucky enough to be in an area which was quite supportive (the amount of support you get in the UK depends on where you live really). He imagined he'd live as a man, find a nice straight or queer girlfriend and live happily ever after, possibly with a picket fence.
Instead he got me. A 5 on the Kinsey scale, very interested in gay politics, every single one of my friends were gay, a big chunk of my identity was gay and no desire to let go of my Lesbian Card for anyone, not easily anyhow.
3 years on we're still together, still in love and have the wedding certificate to prove it. I've stopped going clubbing, he's friended all of my friends and socially I'm now prepared to lie and call myself bisexual (but only in straight environments). I do miss being visibly gay and he does sometimes miss being part of a community, but we're both so much happier these days, despite our losses
