I learnt to finger spell because I dated a deaf lesbian quite a few years ago now. I learnt a few signs as well, but now it's been so long I've forgotten most of them (even though I went to classes).
Whenever we went out, people would either stare at us (we also had to do a lot of writing down - she always carried pen and paper with her) and at cafes staff would always ask me what she wanted. I told them to ask her.
From what I understand, whether deaf kids learn NZSL and lip reading or just NZSL has depended on the educational policies of the time. But NZSL is also an official language of NZ. Is that the same in the US?
It's strange knowing a little bit of sign and being in a foreign country. I used to chat with a deaf gay Korean guy I knew, when I worked there, if I saw him at the club. But it was difficult because my knowledge was so limited of Korean and ASL. In Malaysia there isn't much lip reading which I find strange. In NZ, I was used to folks concentrating on my whole face. I had a deaf colleague at my first job in Malaysia and I was really the only person who made an effort to speak with her - especially amongst the other foreigners.
When I was learning to sign back in NZ, I really enjoy the expressiveness of it.