[Princess4u]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

So he treats your mother as bad as he does you?

I often wonder why my mother stayed with my father. The church I guess?

I think...that ppl stay in an abusive relationship for many reasons...including the church. Also I think when abuse is all you know...there is a comfort there that is hard to break away from. You know what to expect, you know how to behave, you know how to protect yourself and what the particular buttons are to avoid. Its comfort in knowing how to be or how to exist. It is taking me a long time of trying to believe friends when they pay me a compliment because...I feel so unworthy of kindness and good ppl. I am so used to knowing how to behave and talk , walk, dress be what was expected of me...just so i could survive. I wonder if perhaps this isnt true for your mom? If you think about it..and I dont know how old you are to begin to guess how old your mom is...but my mom was born in the 30"s and they were taught to do what the husband tells you to...that you suck it up and never complain. Family secrets are to remain as secrets and you "never aire your dirty laundry" god how many times I have heard that in my life! I was raised with the same mentality...I was told over and over again..."you dont have to know how to do (this or that) because you will have a husband and he will take care of those things." Like oh how to start and maintain a checking account. How to get a car fixed or what to ask to do so...how to budget money, how to fill a gas tank. Hummmmmm <looking around> there aint any husband here...or even a hym for that matter. My brother on the other hand was taken aside and taught all of these things ad many more....just trying to point out how parent influence us and their parents influenced them. Just a thought! hope it helps a bit