I grew up not seeing what was in the mirror. I saw what everyone wanted me to see. Fat. Ugly. A round peg in a square hole. I couldnt see what I looked like. Just last year I realized I had green eyes. Not brown like everyone else in my family. All my life I wanted cheekbones. I realized this year I have them. I SO wanted lovely breasts. Dammit. I have incredible breasts! Just because I have some fat on me, I couldnt see these things. I saw the hue of shame, not the reality of me, when I looked in the mirror.
When we see ourselves thru others eyes, thru the smear of fat across our visual field, we lower our expectations of our worth, as well as the truth of who we are as individuals. I am not one of the Fat. I am not just a fat woman. I am a woman. I have extra pounds on me. But I have green eyes, cheekbones, nice breasts and alot of other things that I spent 5 decades denying to myself. And by god I am done not seeing who I am in the mirror. And if people dont like me wearing bright pink, they can kiss my rippled lovely ass because I have one of those beauties, too! LOL
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Pole bachit, a lis chuye.
The field sees, the forest hears
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